The LIW Small Talk Thread

[TooPatient]

I had to chime in with all this animal talk.. but too..you have a 22lb cat?? My dog doesn't even weigh half that, I couldn't imagine having a cat that big.

Jessie - take some Excedrin and hope that school goes well today.

Hi SC
How are you? Surviving this nutty PNW winter weather?


Mainecoons are larger cats. He's not overweight at all. It's really impressive to watch him run through the house. Oh.... and I'll have to see if I can find some pictures that show his size better...

 

[DestinedPalmer]

Kitty we have is a DEFINETLY a furball!!! He's a ragdoll cat... Remington is sweet but energetic as a 3 year old if not worse!!!
Today my little sister, who will be 18 in less than 2 months, and I are going to our appointment for my wedding dress and her brides maid dress! It's soooo awesome I'm sooooooooooooooo excited!!!!! Feels weird him having me go ahead and do this stuff when he hasn't "officially" asked me yet... But, the time is coming soon! Better be anyways since we have already figured out the date and when and where and ready to book the dang place! lol I'll post pics this evening. So excited!!! Talk to you all later tonight!!!




@#$***** EXTRA DUST TO ALL OF US!!!*****$#@

 

[TooPatient]

I'm feeling defeated and terribly depressed today. A year ago, I would have crawled into bed and cried. 4 years ago I would have just given up on ever having a decent life. Today.... I'm more determined than ever to get this mess cleaned up and move on with a nice life. We're so very close. I won't let ANYONE stand in my way.


Oh.... you remember how there was a bill we were waiting to see what happened with it in January. We were both certain it would go down -- the only question was how much. Yeah..... well.... today is the day it should have dropped.... and it didn't.
I've got a phone call in to them to argue this, but it looks like we've probably got another year paying this much.

Gah!
At least I've got a plan (call people, show the error, be happy!), a back-up plan (call people, get told I'm wrong (even though I've got written documentation showing I'm not), grumble a bit, scrounge up (or sell stuff to get) the money to just pay the stupid thing), and an "oh well... did my best" plan (call, grumble, keep paying, find other bills to pay off).


To Do Today:
wait for person to call me back (left message for these people already)
call attorney on different matter (may be taking over from 1st attorney)
call 1st attorney to give last warning to finish or be fired
call Pergo to see if they'll honor warranty (if so, we get new flooring for the whole house!!!)



ETA: The hits keep coming! The last phone call to go over info to see if we owed money or not cost $350(!!!) for the guy to look up the info and go over it with me --- At least it is tax deductible.

Okay.... so I'm super determined but.... would it be too much to ask for something ***ANYTHING*** to turn out okay today!?!

 

[Jessie702]

Awww, too i am so sorry. I completely know about being hit with one ting after another. I AM int he same boat right noe, but its with school, and trying to find work, and C's health. I feel so sad somedays, its hard to get out of bed. But, i have to , to get things done. Im here to talk if you need it.

 

[vintagelover229]

TooPat: Keep on keepin on honey. Bills suck, but if you keep on keeping on, eventually (although seemingly FOREVER) they will go down.

However if someone told you one thing and you have proof of it, don't take no for an answer. Keep asking to talk to the next higher person up. Eventually you'll get what you want (just be nice, but FIRM about it). Trust me, I used to work for a company that the answer was always no...until you talked to someone higher up. AND I've gotten money back from paypal (so if they ever try and screw you over for a lot of money just keep asking for the next person higher up eventually you have to listen to a 15 minute thing on how to "protect" yourself with paypal/ebay so it doesn't happen again...and you'll have been on the phone a LOT longer than 15 minutes by the time you get to someone).

HUGS and DUST to everyone!

 

[TooPatient]

Awww, too i am so sorry. I completely know about being hit with one ting after another. I AM int he same boat right noe, but its with school, and trying to find work, and C's health. I feel so sad somedays, its hard to get out of bed. But, i have to , to get things done. Im here to talk if you need it.

C's health???
Is he okay?

How's your school stuff going? When do they let you know if you can have the waiver and get the grant?

 

[Jessie702]

No, he is shaving some stomach issues. He has a hard time swallowing food, the food gets stuck on the way down, and he has cold spots in his stomach, he is suppose to have an exam, but the doc office isnt helping us feel better. Hes not being positive about it, but i dont know what to do though. I really dont.

 

[TooPatient]

Vintage -- Thanks. I know they'll get there.

I've got written proof, BUT it's a bit of a different situation. The bill today they are claiming almost $5,000 owing still even though we paid them in full over the last 12 months. I've got a message left with our assigned contact so hopefully they'll call back and we can work this out. Unfortunately with what it is, if they say that we have to pay the money again there isn't really any good way to argue with anyone. The option if we wanted to fight would be to have our attorney file with the court to review the records and that gets really expensive really fast.

The other one is from the IRS. (long story, but taxes got really complicated for a couple of years). We submitted documents (through our really good tax-guy) showing that they were owed $12,000. We got a cashiers check for $12,000. They got an aditional almost $3,000 from a "refund" and somehow $12,000 (owed) - $15,000 (paid) = $10,000 left to pay
This one I had our tax guy check out to be sure and he found that it's all penalties/interest so we do have to pay it -- plus his bill for checking on what was happening


I think what is really getting me right now is that these are things I THOUGHT we'd paid off -- things that I had written documents (contract in one case, returns + bills in the other) that seemed to support that.
So now, instead of having everything paid and over with I find out we've still got about $11,000 left to pay between the two things.
And I'm not even sure that when we've paid that they'll be happy -- they could quite possibly tack on additional fees.

Don't get me wrong.... If I (or FI) owe anyone anything, we're quite willing to do whatever needs to be done to pay the debt in full. These just seem to be way out there beyond anything reasonable.

 

[TooPatient]

No, he is shaving some stomach issues. He has a hard time swallowing food, the food gets stuck on the way down, and he has cold spots in his stomach, he is suppose to have an exam, but the doc office isnt helping us feel better. Hes not being positive about it, but i dont know what to do though. I really dont.

That sounds miserable!

I hope he gets an exam soon and it turns out to be nothing interesting!


Just be there for him. Cook/bake him anything he thinks he can manage to eat and just BE there. I'm sure he's uncomfortable and probably scaring himself with all of the awful things that he thinks it could possibly be. (our minds are absolutely the worst when they have to wait for something!)

 

[Seattle SC]

Ugh with everyone's money issues! I just finally ok'd my dog to go into surgery today - somehow he managed to get a compressed disc in his back which is causing pain so it was either meds or surgery to hopefully correct it. Since the pain seemed to be so significant, we're now opting for surgery. It's so darn expensive, everything I was saving to hopefully replace my car is now going straight to this. I'm hopeful that everything will turn out right, but even so, recovery is strict rest for at least a month, which my dog is definately not used to constant confinement. Last year I spent about 6mo with my dad in the hospital/rehab, and later my grandmother passed, but for some reason it's been mentally tougher on me to watch my dog suffer. I was hoping this year would be much better than the last, but it's not turning out that way.

And I am sick of this constant rain and crappy weather we're having, I just wish it would dump 16in of snow here and shut this state down, like it's doing in the NE.

Jessie - If you don't feel good about the doc, can you change and go see someone else? I hope it's nothing serious and something that can be corrected with mouth exercises and simple meds. When my dad was in the hospital he had to do these tests to make sure he could swallow and had to do different exercises to strengthen his muscles since he hadn't eaten for so long while he was sedated. It took a couple of weeks of working through different types of food (puree, liquid, semi puree, etc), but eventually he was able to eat any type of food he wanted to.

 

[TooPatient]

Ugh with everyone's money issues! I just finally ok'd my dog to go into surgery today - somehow he managed to get a compressed disc in his back which is causing pain so it was either meds or surgery to hopefully correct it. Since the pain seemed to be so significant, we're now opting for surgery. It's so darn expensive, everything I was saving to hopefully replace my car is now going straight to this. I'm hopeful that everything will turn out right, but even so, recovery is strict rest for at least a month, which my dog is definately not used to constant confinement. Last year I spent about 6mo with my dad in the hospital/rehab, and later my grandmother passed, but for some reason it's been mentally tougher on me to watch my dog suffer. I was hoping this year would be much better than the last, but it's not turning out that way.

And I am sick of this constant rain and crappy weather we're having, I just wish it would dump 16in of snow here and shut this state down, like it's doing in the NE.

Jessie - If you don't feel good about the doc, can you change and go see someone else? I hope it's nothing serious and something that can be corrected with mouth exercises and simple meds. When my dad was in the hospital he had to do these tests to make sure he could swallow and had to do different exercises to strengthen his muscles since he hadn't eaten for so long while he was sedated. It took a couple of weeks of working through different types of food (puree, liquid, semi puree, etc), but eventually he was able to eat any type of food he wanted to.

SC --

I hope the surgery helps! It is SOooooo hard to see our furry family in pain!

Weather
It is just screwy around here right now. This snow/no-snow/rain/snow/rain thing just SUCKS.

I agree... 16" would be good (with enough warning to get home!)

 

[TooPatient]

Kitty we have is a DEFINETLY a furball!!! He's a ragdoll cat... Remington is sweet but energetic as a 3 year old if not worse!!!
Today my little sister, who will be 18 in less than 2 months, and I are going to our appointment for my wedding dress and her brides maid dress! It's soooo awesome I'm sooooooooooooooo excited!!!!! Feels weird him having me go ahead and do this stuff when he hasn't "officially" asked me yet... But, the time is coming soon! Better be anyways since we have already figured out the date and when and where and ready to book the dang place! lol I'll post pics this evening. So excited!!! Talk to you all later tonight!!!




@#$***** EXTRA DUST TO ALL OF US!!!*****$#@

Ragdolls are too cute! (and what personality!)


Have fun shopping!

 

[Jessie702]

Thanks Ladies. At this point it is too difficult to change doctors. Esp. with this test being so soon. I am going to just cook/bake for him all weekend. He is going to take it easy, and get all he wants, because he wont be able to, pretty much all day monday. Anyone have any good recipes for french toast? Im so nervous, because he is nervous, but i know it has to be done.

 

[DestinedPalmer]

hey too... omg you're not kidding about the personality! He's hilarious!!!


Well, I found my dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got mine and my sisters also. She picked out a really cute short fluffy kind of dress... We had to order it because they didn't have it in burgundy... So it'll arrive in 3 weeks...

I'm sooooooooooo excited! I got an ivory gown that is beaded and very "flowy" with a beautiful train! Only thing is I'll have to have it altered. Because in order to get one that fit me up top, I had to get one thats wayyyyy to big in the waist! lol Thats no big deal to me though... I have to get a good slip for it to say in the least! Any ideas on where to get one that will hold everything in place too? lol I can't wait!

 

[vintagelover229]

Jessie:
I hope C does ok at the Dr. apt and gets everything figured out! For french toast I usually add Cinnamon to the batter, some allspice/ something similar and a little bit of powdered sugar on the top (after its cooked) and it comes out great. It's not the healthiest version, but it's Oh so good!

Destinedpalmer: How exciting about the dress! But you should know better by now that you can't talk about a dress you bought and not have pictures to show us! So come on out with the pics when you get a chance, it sounds beautiful!


On a different note: the trip I was thinking my SO would propose on...idk if it's going to happen on that trip now. The reason being is that he wants to save this next pay check for our trip and not use any of it to insure my ring (300.00) and wants to do it on the following paycheck, which hits on the 15th (the day we get back). I really don't want him taking the ring out of the house before it's insured bc we can't afford to replace it if something were to happen to it. So unless he insures it wo my knowledge (which I guess is possible...but I'm usually the one who sets up everything) or proposes and insures it the same week we get back...I'm not expecting one on this trip

However my birthday is at the end of the month and we will be going to Houston (where I'm from) and where we met and he could do it down there. However I don't think he'd want to travel with the ring like that, but it is possible that he may. So...I'm trying not to read to much into it and just enjoy it no matter what.

On a happier note: We got Beauty! She's adjusting great and actually not hiding under the table today (although I'm sure she'll head back there at some point, lol). She's sitting right next to me and I love her to pieces!

dust to everyone!

 

[TooPatient]

Jessie --

Start with challah. (I bake it, but you can buy it too)

Slice thick and soak for about 10 minutes in:

eggs (I use 2 for 3 pieces)
ground cinnamon
nutmeg
vanilla (fresh bean is best)
bit of milk (I use almond or soy milk) to make batter thin but not too thin


Fry in butter.

SOmetimes I serve with fresh cooked apples & cinnamon (think big apple chunks like applesauce but still a bit crispy), a little drizzle of caramel sauce, and toasted pecans.

Other times with just nice maple syrup.

 

[4ever]

TP and Jessie, sorry things are a bit rough for you guys at the moment, hope things get better soon.

I got braces on my bottom teeth this morning (had them about 6 years agao but teeth have moved) and man do they HURT!
No need to go on a pre-wedding diet, I have to REALLY want to eat to attempt anything at the moment.

 

[FuturePsyD]

4ever:

I had braces when I was 13 and my bottom teeth have moved a bit too (I think it's because I didn't wear my retainers afterwards like I was supposed to )

Did you get Invisalign or regular braces? I'm thinking about it for my bottom teeth. How long do you think you will have yours this time around?

 

[TooPatient]

TP and Jessie, sorry things are a bit rough for you guys at the moment, hope things get better soon.

I got braces on my bottom teeth this morning (had them about 6 years agao but teeth have moved) and man do they HURT!
No need to go on a pre-wedding diet, I have to REALLY want to eat to attempt anything at the moment.

I'm sorry

How long do you have to wear them?

 

[4ever]

Regular braces, not the same ones I had when I was a teen (no fun spastic coloured rubber bands ) these are just metal looking and hurty.

Have to wear then for 3-4 months but in just the first 24 hours there was a significant visual difference so hopefully they wont be on too long.

 

[TooPatient]

Regular braces, not the same ones I had when I was a teen (no fun spastic coloured rubber bands ) these are just metal looking and hurty.

Have to wear then for 3-4 months but in just the first 24 hours there was a significant visual difference so hopefully they wont be on too long.

A difference in 24 hours? Wow!

Hopefully your teeth move easily (and painlessly!) and then stay where you want them.

 

[TooPatient]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it took me a whole day to see your announcement! ( I really should venture out of ST more often )


Congratulations!!

 

[FuturePsyD]

haha, the flourescent rubber bands were the best!

That's great that you've had results within 24 hours. Hopefully, its a short and semi-painless process. (I hated getting them tightened)

But the end result is definitely worth it!!

 

[Jessie702]

4ever- im sorry about the braces. I had them when i was like 12, so i know. Congrats on the engagement too. I cant believe, i left PS for a weekend, and come back, and we need a new LK. Actually, the LIS need a new LK...i keep forgetting, im no long a LIW.

So C had the exam on monday, and it was a whole 3 minutes. It took 2 hours though, between Prep, and Recovery though. Im so happy we went, because we now, can make osme lifestyle changes( Drinking), and diet. From the exam, C has 3 or 4 Ulcers, Hital Hernia, and Reflux Esphongia, I told him, i had a feeling it was going to be all of that. They took two bioposies to make sure it wasnt cancer, and we go back to find out. Maybe now that we can start healing him, he can set a date.

 

[TooPatient]

4ever- im sorry about the braces. I had them when i was like 12, so i know. Congrats on the engagement too. I cant believe, i left PS for a weekend, and come back, and we need a new LK. Actually, the LIS need a new LK...i keep forgetting, im no long a LIW.

So C had the exam on monday, and it was a whole 3 minutes. It took 2 hours though, between Prep, and Recovery though. Im so happy we went, because we now, can make osme lifestyle changes( Drinking), and diet. From the exam, C has 3 or 4 Ulcers, Hital Hernia, and Reflux Esphongia, I told him, i had a feeling it was going to be all of that. They took two bioposies to make sure it wasnt cancer, and we go back to find out. Maybe now that we can start healing him, he can set a date.

I'm glad C is okay! (well, just basic stuff they know how to manage!)

Drinking & diet.... It'll be tough (I come from a family of alcoholics with different health issues) but it'll be SOOOOOooo worth it. There is so much more that can be caused by the stuff we eat/drink (or don't eat/drink!). Hopefully C sticks to the new diet and this is the start of a happier healthier life for you together!

You should find good for him recipes that also taste good. Sticking to a diet stinks if the food tastes awful and you have to skip your favorite stuff!

 

[TooPatient]

I feel miserable today.

Long story...
Not sure what happened exactly but I didn't get dinner done until after 10 last night . FI was starting to load the dishwasher after we had eaten and I remembered an empty bowl in the refrigerator that needed washed so I took it out to set on the counter. Well... while I was taking the plastic wrap off, I dropped it. My nice Pyrex mixing bowl hit the floor and shattered. It didn't just break, there were tiny bits everywhere. B was stuck standing in the corner of the kitchen. I tossed the cats into the bedroom and told our older dog to wait on her bed (luckily Milly was in her kennel) while I grabbed a broom to sweep the glass up. Just sweeping didn't do it so I grabbed the vacuum to get some of the smaller bits. Of course the hose on our vacuum has a tear in it (we've got to order a new hose!) so all of the glass went right past my exposed hand...
That was enough to get FI out of the corner so he kept the dogs out of the way while I tried to get out some of the slivers of glass that were in my hands.
Then the dogs had to potty so he had to get them on leashes and out the front door (they usually just go out the back door into the fenced yard). I gave up on the last bits of glass in my hands and decided that I needed to use wet papertowels to get the little shards of glass off the floor (whole kitchen was sparkly -- like little flecks of glitter). Had to do 1/2 the hallway, all of the kitchen, into the dining room, and in the livingroom behind the couch (how it got there I just don't know )
Poor FI was stuck waiting outside with the dogs (no way in without tracking the glass bits even more) (by now it is 12:30).

FI is okay. He managed to not get any glass in him.

Everything I was wearing went into the wash with the floormat from the kitchen. FI filled the bathtub with nice warm water so that after I stripped naked I could hobble through the house (glass in my feet ) and soak to try to get the stuff out. The bits are/were so small I couldn't see them to pull out so soaking was the best I could come up with. I finally got all of the glass out (I thought) and headed to bed at almost 2.

So today I'm massively tired (still had to get up for calculus ) and my hands/wrists still hurt. I think I've got more in there but I don't know what to do except go home and try soaking again.


Oh... and to top it all off I'm sneezing all over, my nose is stuffy, and I think I may have a fever.


I'm SOOOOoooooo ready to just go home.

 

[Jessie702]

O too, i am so sorry hon. That sounds like something i would do. The best thing you can do is to wrap your hand up, and than let it soak. The small pieces will work themselves out. Was nice of your FI to make you a wam bath though. C and i usually get little cactus spurs in our hands when doing yard work . C loves cactus, and its o so nice to pull the needles out. Ive had big ones and small ones, and damn near invisiable ones too. So just rest your hand and soak it. Also, you might want to rub and feel if there are small pieces, if you feel them, than give your FI a pair of twizzers, and let him pull them out for you.

I know C has to follow a special diet, but it sucks, he has to avoid spicey food, fatty food, greasey food, chocolate, sodas( Which i dont drink), he cant eat 2 hours before bed. So many rules now. A big one is the liquor, which is hard for him. I keep trying to make him understand. Like the nurse who released him, asked him how much he drinks and c replys" just socially on the weekend", and i said" yeah, if social is 5 to 8 drinks". I keep trying to tell him, that he cant binge drink. To him binge drinking, is drinking daily and a large amount, well to medical sites, binge drinking is anything over 3. He gets so angry when i tell the doc or the nurse how much he really likes to drink on the weekend. He said, his Ulcer should be okay, he only drinks on the weekend. ...serioulsy, its the amount you drink too dummy! Sorry, this is really making me mad. His mother passed away from a bleeding ulcer, and she drank 2 glass of vodka daily. I dont want him to die like she did, because he cant stop drinking, and iver told him this, but he doesnt understand. Help, i dont know what else to do. IM going to be honest with him, and let him know, especially if he wants to go out drinking this weekend, that i am not going to sit around, and watch him drink hisself to death, because that is what he is doing, by " socially" drinking on the weekend, with all of his stomach problems. I will tell him, that while i love him, i love me more, and i am not going to put myself through hell, because he wants to go out and get a buzz. He either stops drinking "socially" or im leaving, because i will not take care of a man who is sick, who could have prevented it. That would just be me, hendering him, and helping him, make himself sick. I wont do it.

 

[TooPatient]

Aww, Jessie,

I'm so sorry. I come from a family of alcoholics and know just how painful it can be to watch someone slowly drink themselves to death.

My mom & her husband quit drinking -- just up and quit one day. (I think he had health issues and she was getting some too). It has now been nearly 10 years (8? 9??) and neither one has had a drink since that day. They talked about it and decided that they couldn't have "just one" or "drink socially" because that always ended with 5..6..7..???? They've each been tempted but the other is ALWAYS there to support and they make it through.


Rather than saying "don't drink socially or I leave", you might talk with him about the options. Would he be willing to have 1 drink every day (like FI & I do (weekdays too.) -- with dinner) and stick to water/tea/juice after that (including SOCIALLY!!!)? Could he stick to that one drink/day (and no... they aren't like phone minutes that you can rollover to the weekend.) -- maybe with the agreement that when you are out with friends (and NO MORE than once/week) he could have 2 drinks?
Or does he think that he wouldn't be able to stick to that and 1 would turn to 2 and then 3 before he realized and maybe he'd be better off stopping entirely?

The MOST important thing is that YOU need to do this WITH HIM!!!
If he decides NO alcohol then YOU need to also have NO alcohol. If he decides ONE per night then YOU need to stick to ONE per night (and be gentle when you remind him that ONE means ONE) too.


Okay...
So... I've got to share this with you because I really want you to understand how much YOU matter. I know you love C and I really want him to succeed and be healthy so that you can have a happy life together.

I haven't seen my father since September 2004. A few months after that is the last time I spoke to him.

He is an alcoholic. He spent my 9th grade year in prison for attempted murder -- we still don't know if he did or didn't because he (and the others involved) were too drunk to know what happened.
While he was in prison (and on parole), he quit drinking. I was SOOOOo happy -- my angry, abusive father who passed out drunk every time we visited him (my parents are divorced) on the weekends and was never there when I needed him was finally THERE(!!!)... He was actually friendly, caring, gentle, and great to talk to. We were finally doing stuff together and I liked it.
Well...
His live-in gf didn't care if he drank or not but SHE certainly didn't have a problem and wasn't about to give up alcohol. My father did okay for awhile and then decided that he could have "just one drink" when she had one. He fell hard. He couldn't do "just one drink" and it was in the house and ordered when they went out and served to friends who visited -- it was just TOO much.

I got to have my dad for just a couple of months. He missed my childhood and now he's going to miss my wedding.

 

[TooPatient]

Jessie,

I know you love C -- talk to him openly and find a plan that he is okay with and help him succeed. You can't do it FOR him, but having you there doing it WITH him will make it a lot easier for him.

It doesn't have to happen all at one time. Gradually shift what you cook to stuff that is better for him. Introduce new recipes slowly and if he doesn't like it, find a different one and try again.
Same for "drinking socially". Find different stuff you can do together (or with friends) that is less likely to lead to sitting together drinking. (mini-golf, movie, paintball, dance lessons(got lots more if you need ideas)). If he's busy enjoying himself, he won't feel like he's missing anything.

 

[Jessie702]

Thanks Too- i know im going to make the change with him, and i am more than willing too. Also, with him, he cant stick to just one, he has to have more than 1, that 1 will turn into 2, and than 3, and than 4....also, the Nurse, not even the doc, but nurse said 1/2 a week. I guess i take the tough love road because i know that is what works with him, but i will try your way first. Thank you. So much.