The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[Bella_mezzo]

Hi ladies! Although I never got any answers when I was trying to get pregnant, I may finally have a health care provider besides my acupuncturist who is actually trying to figure out what's going on in my body

I thought I'd come over and share since it may have been part of why it took me so long to get pregnant!

During delivery of my son in January my brand new midwife discovered that I was severely anemic. Apparently I had been all throughout my pregnancy and my OB hadn't said or done anything ...anyway, the kind of anemia I have is often found in people with celiac disease so I am now being tested for that...while it would suck to have it, it would provide some answers re my anemia which is commonly found in people with celiac b/c their small intestine becomes damaged and doesn't absorb nutrients well, including iron...anyway, the interesting part is that women with celiac disease have much higher rates of infertility, miscarriage, still birth, and menstrual issues.

The initial diagnosis is just a simple blood test, so it may be worth asking your provider to have it run just to see if that sheds any light on things. The treatment is a totally gluten-free diet and in the space of months or sometimes years, your small intestine repairs itself and fertility is increased/restored.

I'm waiting for the lab results to see if this is what I have, but in the meantime wanted to pass along this info as I had never heard of celiac being linked to infertility before.

 

[random_thought]

Random, believe me, I'm far from accepting the idea and still get teary-eyed when I think about it, but I'm just trying to be realistic and force myself to see that as a possibility. So much of this is out of my control, so I want to make sure I can be "okay" with the idea of having an only child. I'm not quite there yet, but like I said, it certainly wouldn't be the end of the world, and we would still be a happy family, albeit a much smaller family than we'd planned. But I'm not ready to give up just yet, depending on what the RE has to say.

Ah, I gotcha. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate anything. I really, really hope your RE has some good answers for you.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thanks Random, I so hope we are both able to make our little guys big brothers someday soon and can put all of this behind us! Also, I certainly didn't think you were insinuating anything by your response. I think I need to watch what I say or how I say it because I seem to make people think I am offended and they have to apologize to me when that is not my intent! I was just offering my solidarity and letting you know that you are not the only one who has a hard time accepting the idea of an only child.

Thinking also of those of you who have yet to have a baby and who would probably do anything to know you could just have one baby. I remember how hard it was to be in that position.

 

[royalasscherlover]

mp, thanks for your last bit - I think I'm the only childless person contributing regularly at this point and I'd give anything to trade with those of you who have 'just one'. I'm sure it's still very hard the second time around and frustrating to be unable to make the choices you want for your family, but you all are lucky already even if you don't feel that way right now.

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, I remember feeling that way too when I was trying for my first. I knew it would be hard for someone experiencing secondary infertility, but I didn't feel as sorry for them and couldn't quite understand how they were feeling. I think it is the same with those who have never experienced infertility. They can sympathize to a certain extent, but until you experience it, you don't quite get the hurt and all consuming sadness, and it is easy to take your ability to have babies at will for granted.

As someone who has struggled with primary and secondary infertility, I can tell you it was harder for me to experience primary infertility (although mine didn't last as long as yours has). I remember it being hard to find joy in life and I was always reminded of what I didn't have and wondered if I ever would. With secondary infertility, you have a child who brings a lot of joy into your life, so it is not as desperate as a feeling or as constant of a feeling. However, the one thing I will say about secondary infertility, is that not only do you hurt for you and your spouse, but you also hurt for your child at the idea of him or her missing out on the experience of having siblings. Another difference I've discovered is that with primary infertility, the loss is more abstract as you haven't yet experienced what it is like to be a parent and have a baby. So it is more the idea of a baby that you mourn. With secondary infertility, the loss is more concrete because you know exactly what it means to be a parent and fall in love with your baby. I guess it's human nature that we want more of a good thing, you know?

But anyway, I totally understand your sentiment about wishing you could trade places with those of us who already have a child. I hope it doesn't make it harder on you to read our posts. Although we are all experiencing somewhat different experiences, I do think it is great that we can all support each other.

 

[random_thought]

SB, I remember feeling that way too when I was trying for my first. I knew it would be hard for someone experiencing secondary infertility, but I didn't feel as sorry for them and couldn't quite understand how they were feeling. I think it is the same with those who have never experienced infertility. They can sympathize to a certain extent, but until you experience it, you don't quite get the hurt and all consuming sadness, and it is easy to take your ability to have babies at will for granted.

As someone who has struggled with primary and secondary infertility, I can tell you it was harder for me to experience primary infertility (although mine didn't last as long as yours has). I remember it being hard to find joy in life and I was always reminded of what I didn't have and wondered if I ever would. With secondary infertility, you have a child who brings a lot of joy into your life, so it is not as desperate as a feeling or as constant of a feeling. However, the one thing I will say about secondary infertility, is that not only do you hurt for you and your spouse, but you also hurt for your child at the idea of him or her missing out on the experience of having siblings. Another difference I've discovered is that with primary infertility, the loss is more abstract as you haven't yet experienced what it is like to be a parent and have a baby. So it is more the idea of a baby that you mourn. With secondary infertility, the loss is more concrete because you know exactly what it means to be a parent and fall in love with your baby. I guess it's human nature that we want more of a good thing, you know?

But anyway, I totally understand your sentiment about wishing you could trade places with those of us who already have a child. I hope it doesn't make it harder on you to read our posts. Although we are all experiencing somewhat different experiences, I do think it is great that we can all support each other.

SB- I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I think MP has said it more eloquently than I could have. I'm on a different spectrum over here. I was able conceive DS with no problems, no meds, no intervention within 7 months. Now it's been over 2 years ttc #2. It's definitely hard all around, hugs for everyone.

 

[random_thought]

Someone messaged me on facebook today to tell me it's not appropriate for me to talk about endometriosis or infertility on social media. And of course they would know, because a friend of theirs MIGHT be infertile. Yeah, that's really the same thing. Furthermore, it's endometriosis awareness month so how are they supposed to come up with a cure if people don't even know what it is?!

UGH!

/rant.

 

[aviastar]

Someone messaged me on facebook today to tell me it's not appropriate for me to talk about endometriosis or infertility on social media. And of course they would know, because a friend of theirs MIGHT be infertile. Yeah, that's really the same thing. Furthermore, it's endometriosis awareness month so how are they supposed to come up with a cure if people don't even know what it is?!

UGH!

/rant.

DE-FRIEND!

 

[royalasscherlover]

I agree with aviastart - unfriend! I haven't been on FB in several months because it was too hard to see all my friends and acquaintances sharing their pregnancies and babies. I think it would be refreshing to have someone posting about infertility, only posting happy stuff leads to a lack of awareness.

I didn't mean to start a debate about whether primary or secondary infertility is harder - they both suck and I wouldn't wish either on my worst enemy. I'm sure the feelings are more similar than dissimilar and there is mourning and frustration no matter which side you're on. I just wanted to share another perspective since I know it can be harder to see it when you're in it.

DH and I have always talked about having two kids, but after struggling through a year of infertility treatments it would be a major victory to get even one healthy child. I don't know that we will have the emotional or financial resources to do this a second time. DH and I are also in our mid-thirties, so the longer the first one takes, the fewer options we have for a second. I've already had to acknowledge those realities and accept that two kids may not be possible for us. Right now I'm just focused on the first one, and I know that I don't fully know what my feelings will be after that.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Random, agreed that I would just unfriend. Um, sorry that my health struggles make you uncomfortable! Sheesh. I do think there are probably a lot of women who are suffering in silence with infertility/endo that appreciate hearing they are not alone.

SB, yes, it is always good to see these things from another's perspective. Like I said, I remember how it felt to be in your shoes, and it breaks my heart thinking about how frustrated you must be. I am realizing more and more what a miracle my son is now and how lucky I was to have my first IUI work last time, and trust me when I say I realize how truly blessed I am to have my son. At the same time, I still have a very strong desire to have another baby because my family just doesn't feel complete. I so hope you will make it to the other side of this one day very soon, and who knows, you still might be able to have those two kids you wanted. I really hope this upcoming cycle goes well and you are able to fix some of the problems that arose in the last couple cycles. Please keep us posted.

Oh, and hi Aviastar! Still sending good thoughts your way!

 

[royalasscherlover]

Thanks mp. I hope you (and others) also have success very soon.

 

[random_thought]

On a happy note, check out my kick ass chart!!!

 

[split_shank]

Quick update... Had my baseline US and it looks like the evil cyst is shrinking. It was 30 mm a week earlier, and down to 15mm and darker in appearance, which the tech assumed meant the fluid was all but gone and had some residual "gunk" left. My levels are all back at baseline normal as well, coincidently, my FSH, LH, and estradiol were all at 5. We upped the femara to 7.5 and he said this is the last try with Femara and he wants to meet in person about discussing injectables next. I hope,hope,hope that we don't have to go that route. I am terrified of over stimulating and getting canceled cycles, or worse, these cysts again that hold everything up for longer again. He keeps saying its more controllable than the oral meds, but I just remember what my little ovaries said about higher Clomid....they weren't impressed. Can't help but think about how much (or little) this cyst had to do with the last 3 months of BFN's. need to redeem myself!!

 

[amc80]

Hi ladies. It looks like I will be officially joining you over here. I've gotten pregnant the past two cycles and have had two miscarriages/chemical pregnancies (last one was just shy of 6w, this one was just about at 4w exactly). I had an HSG earlier this month, and everything was clear. Although I will say that the weird pain I had been having since last Fall went away, and it's also the first month in forever that I haven't had painful ovulation. Not sure if the HSG cleared out some gunk or what, but I'm guessing it wasn't a coincidence.

I know CPs are fairly common, but it seems like more than bad luck to have them twice in a row. I also had a CP before I got pregnant with B so this marks #3. I'm hoping the HCG is out of my system fast enough to get CD3 testing done this cycle. For those of you who have had repeat loss, is there an additional testing to be done? Or will the normal CD3 address everything for now? I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow and I'm guessing she will want to be cautious and give me a Rhogam shot.

 

[Laila619]

So sorry, amc. What rotten luck. Are you over 30? A lot of times, doctors will just chalk it up to a chromosomal issue with the baby/older eggs and tell you to keep trying. Honestly, the fact that you have had multiple CPs leads me to believe you are in fact, super fertile! It's like you can conceive easily, but now it's just a matter of getting the right egg. It must be very frustrating.

 

[amc80]

So sorry, amc. What rotten luck. Are you over 30? A lot of times, doctors will just chalk it up to a chromosomal issue with the baby/older eggs and tell you to keep trying. Honestly, the fact that you have had multiple CPs leads me to believe you are in fact, super fertile! It's like you can conceive easily, but now it's just a matter of getting the right egg. It must be very frustrating.

I will be 34 in April, so I'm almost to that awesome 35 mark. You're probably right, it will just take longer. Hopefully a good egg presents itself soon.

 

[monkeyprincess]

amc, I've only been pregnant the one time that led to my son, so I'm afraid I can't help you out regarding your questions. I agree with Laila that egg quality is most likely the explanation you will get based on other ladies' experiences on here. I know Lizzyann who used to post on here had a similar situation where she could get pregnant very easily, but staying pregnant was much more challenging for her and she had repeated early losses. But there's still a chance this was just dumb bad luck for you, and I'm really hoping that it is just a matter of time before you get that perfect egg. In the meantime, take care of yourself and hang in there.

SS, glad to hear the cyst is shrinking, and hopefully, you will have a more normal cycle this time around and none of that overstimulation crap.

Aviastar, I read about your temps dropping and spotting on the other thread. I don't temp, but I had a weird thing like that last cycle where I had bleeding on like 8dpo or something and then it stopped, and I didn't get AF until almost a week later. Hoping you get a different result.

SB, hope your injectable cycle is going well. Keeping my fingers crossed for nice, thick lining for you this cycle!

AFM, I decided to use my prometrium again this cycle due to the weird spotting I had last cycle. I'm not so secretly hoping that it will also lengthen my LP and give me a shot of starting treatment next cycle, but I'm not holding my breath because I have had mixed results with prometrium delaying AF in the past.

Hi to everyone else!

 

[random_thought]

amc- I had 2 cp and that's when they tested my progesterone. I can't remember if you had that done?

Mine ended up being fine so who knows what happened there

 

[mlk]

Hi ladies. It looks like I will be officially joining you over here. I've gotten pregnant the past two cycles and have had two miscarriages/chemical pregnancies (last one was just shy of 6w, this one was just about at 4w exactly). I had an HSG earlier this month, and everything was clear. Although I will say that the weird pain I had been having since last Fall went away, and it's also the first month in forever that I haven't had painful ovulation. Not sure if the HSG cleared out some gunk or what, but I'm guessing it wasn't a coincidence.

I know CPs are fairly common, but it seems like more than bad luck to have them twice in a row. I also had a CP before I got pregnant with B so this marks #3. I'm hoping the HCG is out of my system fast enough to get CD3 testing done this cycle. For those of you who have had repeat loss, is there an additional testing to be done? Or will the normal CD3 address everything for now? I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow and I'm guessing she will want to be cautious and give me a Rhogam shot.

Amc, sorry you are going through this. While I have never had a miscarriage or cp I have recently been diagnosed with MTHFR gene mutation. This can cause multiple problems in pregnancy including repeat miscarriages, stillbirth, blood clots and pre-eclampsia which I had. It is where your body does not absorb and utilize b-vitamins particularly folic acid and in its worst form can even cause neural tube defects such as spina bifida.

My gp has put me on natural supplements of b vitamins particularly methyl folate instead of folic acid as the b vitamins you currently take can build up in your system and also cause problems.

It was a simple genetic blood test for me. I have also been tested for clotting disorders which can cause pregnancy complications. Not sure what the insurance situation there is but I had to pay a small amount out of pocket for the test.

Another thing to test is gluten intolerance. A friend of my husband's in Ireland has had 5 miscarriages over the last 3 years and has just been diagnosed as coeliac and dairy intolerant. Also things worth checking out.

Hope this is of some help x

 

[amc80]

Hi ladies. It looks like I will be officially joining you over here. I've gotten pregnant the past two cycles and have had two miscarriages/chemical pregnancies (last one was just shy of 6w, this one was just about at 4w exactly). I had an HSG earlier this month, and everything was clear. Although I will say that the weird pain I had been having since last Fall went away, and it's also the first month in forever that I haven't had painful ovulation. Not sure if the HSG cleared out some gunk or what, but I'm guessing it wasn't a coincidence.

I know CPs are fairly common, but it seems like more than bad luck to have them twice in a row. I also had a CP before I got pregnant with B so this marks #3. I'm hoping the HCG is out of my system fast enough to get CD3 testing done this cycle. For those of you who have had repeat loss, is there an additional testing to be done? Or will the normal CD3 address everything for now? I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow and I'm guessing she will want to be cautious and give me a Rhogam shot.

Amc, sorry you are going through this. While I have never had a miscarriage or cp I have recently been diagnosed with MTHFR gene mutation. This can cause multiple problems in pregnancy including repeat miscarriages, stillbirth, blood clots and pre-eclampsia which I had. It is where your body does not absorb and utilize b-vitamins particularly folic acid and in its worst form can even cause neural tube defects such as spina bifida.

My gp has put me on natural supplements of b vitamins particularly methyl folate instead of folic acid as the b vitamins you currently take can build up in your system and also cause problems.

It was a simple genetic blood test for me. I have also been tested for clotting disorders which can cause pregnancy complications. Not sure what the insurance situation there is but I had to pay a small amount out of pocket for the test.

Another thing to test is gluten intolerance. A friend of my husband's in Ireland has had 5 miscarriages over the last 3 years and has just been diagnosed as coeliac and dairy intolerant. Also things worth checking out.

Hope this is of some help x

Thank you, that is helpful. I REALLY hope it's just bad luck and I don't have any underlying issues. Having said that, I do have full IF coverage, so I'm am going to push for whatever testing my doc *thinks* could possibly be needed. I have a call in right now. I have heard of the MTHFR thing but assumed I was fine since my pregnancy with B was uneventful (well, the pregnancy was very eventful, but, other than the CP right before, getting pregnant was not an issue).

 

[random_thought]

Off topic sort of but am I the only one who thought of a different word when they read MTHRFR?

It seems appropriate either way since it sounds like that is one mother of a problem to deal with....

 

[amc80]

Off topic sort of but am I the only one who thought of a different word when they read MTHRFR? It seems appropriate either way since it sounds like that is one mother of a problem to deal with....

Haha that's how I say it in my head

 

[mlk]

Off topic sort of but am I the only one who thought of a different word when they read MTHRFR?

It seems appropriate either way since it sounds like that is one mother of a problem to deal with....

Hahaha, I cannot think of a more appropriate name for it!

 

[amc80]

I just heard from my OB and my beta dropped to 3 today. So I will be able to get my CD3 testing tomorrow. The RE is also doing a full thyroid panel and checking prolactin as well.

As a bonus I didn't have to get another Rhogam shot because it stays in your system for 12 weeks and I just got one a month ago.

 

[monkeyprincess]

I always think that when I see MTHFR too.

MLK, are there precautions you can take if you get pregnant again knowing you have the gene mutation? I remember your son was born quite early, right? Hope you are doing well!

amc, well, I'm glad to hear that your betas at least dropped quickly so you can proceed with the CD3 testing and that you do not need another Rhogam shot. Hopefully, the third time will be the charm for you and you won't have to go through any more of the testing.

 

[amc80]

Just got back from the lab where they took 14 vials of blood. It should have been more, but the doc called in TSH instead of the full panel so I need to get that straightened out. Here is what they are testing:

1) Antithrombin Activity
2) Prolactin
3) Estradiol
4) MTHFR
5) Protein S-Functional
6) LH
7) FSH
Lupus Anticoagulant Reflex
9) Factor 2, DNA Analysis
10) Factor 5 Leiden Mutation
11) ABO/Rho (lame because I already know it)
12) Beta-2 Glycoprotein Ab, G/M
13) Prt C Activity (Chromogenic)
14) Anthiphosphatidylserine lgG/M/A
15) TSH
16) Anticardiolip Ab, lgA, Qn
17) AMH

 

[lizzyann]

AMC, I am sorry for your losses. You may remember that I had similar fertility issues. Two early losses before getting pregnant with my first son naturally, then four early losses before getting pregnant via IVF with my second son.

Sounds like you have done all the right testing that I remember doing. One thing you may want to ask about doing is the Clomid Challenge. i don't remember all of the details but they do a blood test before and after taking the Clomid and the results will show your egg reserve. So if you have a low egg reserve that will mean that the egg quality is lower.

I really hope that you can go on to get pregnant naturally, but seeing as though you seem open to and insurance will cover other fertility methods, I will tell you that in my case, by doing IVF, they were able to select the best quality embryos and my RE felt that by implanting the BEST quality is what did the trick for me. IVF worked for me on the first transfer. Good luck to you. I will check back in, so if you have any other questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Thinking of all of you ladies...

Edited to add...there is also a blood clotting condition that they can test for as well that can lead to miscarriages.

 

[amc80]

AMC, I am sorry for your losses. You may remember that I had similar fertility issues. Two early losses before getting pregnant with my first son naturally, then four early losses before getting pregnant via IVF with my second son.

Sounds like you have done all the right testing that I remember doing. One thing you may want to ask about doing is the Clomid Challenge. i don't remember all of the details but they do a blood test before and after taking the Clomid and the results will show your egg reserve. So if you have a low egg reserve that will mean that the egg quality is lower.

I really hope that you can go on to get pregnant naturally, but seeing as though you seem open to and insurance will cover other fertility methods, I will tell you that in my case, by doing IVF, they were able to select the best quality embryos and my RE felt that by implanting the BEST quality is what did the trick for me. IVF worked for me on the first transfer. Good luck to you. I will check back in, so if you have any other questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Thinking of all of you ladies...

Edited to add...there is also a blood clotting condition that they can test for as well that can lead to miscarriages.

Lizzy- Thank you so much for chiming in. I really hope that I just am having some bad luck and that everything is fine. But I feel much better knowing that I do have options if something is wrong. I'm really fortunate to have such good coverage. I'm sure this latest round of labs will bring me up to my $250 deductible, and after that everything is "free." I would totally be freaking out right now if I didn't have that coverage. But yes, I'm open to whatever the RE suggests. Because you had egg issues, did you still have to do IUIs before jumping to IVF? I know that's usually what happens, but it seems in the case of an egg issue an IUI wouldn't do anything to help.

 

[monkeyprincess]

amc, I'm sure Lizzy will chime in, but I agree with you that an IUI probably wouldn't be that useful in your situation because you had your DH seem pretty fertile. IUIs can boost the chance of conceiving when you have ovulation, cervical or sperm issues or sometimes unexplained fertility, but in your case, you can get pregnant on your own, so I'd be surprised if that was recommended to you. From what I understand clomid and other fertility drugs don't improve egg quality, but possibly give you more follicles/targets with the hope that one will be normal. I think you'd be pretty high risk for multiples if you did a medicated IUI. I really think there is a good chance you have had some bad luck and will still be able to get and stay pregnant. Hopefully your tests will come back clear, and the next egg you catch will be a good one. But yes, you are very fortunate to have such great fertility coverage. I'm jealous!

 

[amc80]

amc, I'm sure Lizzy will chime in, but I agree with you that an IUI probably wouldn't be that useful in your situation because you had your DH seem pretty fertile. IUIs can boost the chance of conceiving when you have ovulation, cervical or sperm issues or sometimes unexplained fertility, but in your case, you can get pregnant on your own, so I'd be surprised if that was recommended to you. From what I understand clomid and other fertility drugs don't improve egg quality, but possibly give you more follicles/targets with the hope that one will be normal. I think you'd be pretty high risk for multiples if you did a medicated IUI. I really think there is a good chance you have had some bad luck and will still be able to get and stay pregnant. Hopefully your tests will come back clear, and the next egg you catch will be a good one. But yes, you are very fortunate to have such great fertility coverage. I'm jealous!

Thanks, MP. I really hope this is the case. The nurse I spoke to at the RE's office said something really interesting. I mentioned that I had another CP and that I knew they were common. She said they are common in that they happen to a lot of women, but it's not common for one women to have multiple CPs. I thought that was interesting because I've never thought about it that way.