Would you forgive your SO cheating on you.

[Logan Sapphire]

Coming in way late to this topic...but I think I could forgive but possibly not forget. And if I can''t forget, and all trust has been destroyed, there''s no point in staying in the relationship, at least from my perspective. I''ve never cheated on anyone, but I have been put in the position of not being trusted (due to an ex with severe mental health problems) and it was an awful way to live my life- always been checked up on, not believing me, etc. So basically I would try to salvage the relationship but if he couldn''t earn back my trust, it would be over, and I imagine he wouldn''t want to live his life distrusted either.

 

[divergrrl]

MTRB: Women cheat for sex too, don''t kid yourself. Ever heard of a little thing called the sexual revolution?

I think people cheat because they do not respect their partner, and because they are insecure and need to validate themselves and their "worth" through sexual conquests. "If I can bag this babe, then I''m a real studly guy". or "If I can seduce this man, then I''m a desirable and sexy woman".

It''s fueled by insecurity, selfishness, and a general disregard for the sanctity of committment. The old "its how we are wired babe" doesn''t fly with me, because its a justification for bad behavior.

If someone wants to mess around, then they should be single and be honest about it. Male or female, if you are in a committed relationship, then you should be there because you are ready to be in a monogamous relationship, challenges and all.

Jeannine

 

[ellaila]

Date: 1/16/2007 5:19:24 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 1/16/2007 5:09:19 PM
Author: ellaila

This is making me sad to even think about!

Ohhh. I''m sorry. It wasn''t meant to! I was... just mulling the converstation over, and thought I''d ask.

No, Gypsy, I''m actually I''m glad you brought it up -- this is a really interesting thread! I called hubby the second I got out of work and told him straight out that I''d kill him and then divorce him if he ever cheated on me

Seriously though, we did talk about it, and we both agree that at this stage in our lives (newlyweds of four months, no kids), if one of us cheated, that''d be IT. Period. I know it''s much easier to be this strong when it''s a hypothetical situation -- but I also know how horrible it is to doubt your partner''s every move and to feel like absolute crap about yourself because you''ve been cheated on (high-school boyfriend ages ago, but still ... a broken heart hurts no matter what!). I''ve been in situations where I''ve been ashamed that I got back together with someone who made me feel bad about myself, and I cannot see myself ever doing that again.

We married each other because we love each other, and to me a big part of love is putting your partner''s well-being before your own. There is no way I could ever cheat on him because I know how hurtful that would be to him (pus I couldn''t even imagine living with the guilt I''d feel - oy!). And he feels the same way. Neither of us is perfect, and we can forgive each other''s mistakes -- but cheating doesn''t fall into that category for me.

Again, I know this is all hypothetical and I know that if the day ever came when I really had to deal with this that of course I''d waver about it -- it''s a HUGE deal, how could you not? But when it comes down to it, it''s about respect, and if my hubby didn''t respect me enough to NOT cheat on me, then why should I respect him enough to give him another chance?

(Although we did allow one cheat each with a celebrity

-- though I told him I get to pick his! I''m thinking Ugly Betty.)

 

[poptart]

MTRB: I think people cheat out of lack of respect for another person, not just because they are a man or a woman. We are human and we make choices to do what we want. A man in a relationship that cheats just because of his sexual desire is weak, as is a woman that cheats. They are too weak to end the relationship, to weak to decide what they really want, etc. Hiding behind a mask of primal urges is a sad attempt at exoneration.

ETA: If you want to throw in some articles to back up your story, I'll throw in some to back up mine. This article shows that marriage lowers testosterone (i.e. the need to spread their seed) http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2002/09.19/01-testosterone.html

Maybe we should just start testing your hormone levels before marriage. Afterall, it's all reliant on your genes, right?

*M*

 

[TravelingGal]

alright...so who believes that once a cheater, always a cheater?

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 1/16/2007 6:52:49 PM
Author: mtrb

Date: 1/16/2007 6:27:16 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 1/16/2007 6:12:36 PM

Author: mtrb



Absolutely. I love my wife, and I made that vow. In my experience women feel sexually attracted when they are cherished, supported and loved…that also makes them feel sexy.

Most men do not require such things to be sexually attracted, we are visual creatures–hence the popularity of ****.ography...lol. . Men are hardwired animalistically for procreation, as are most male animals.

In fact did you know there are statistics out there that say 95% of animals on this planet are non-monogamist.. 'Love' goes beyond animal instinct however…we are human. Think about all the negative “dog”/”pig” stereotypes out there about men... if they weren't at least partial truths to this.. then we wouldn't have stereotypes at all. My opinion and experiences indicate that this is probably just the animalistic side of humans.

Some people want to close those doors however and not consider this..but, all the signs point in that direction. It doesn't mean men are bad or it is wrong to have those feelings. Its not and I don’t believe a man should apologize for those feeling..its just something we have to understand as human. To make a vow and break it however, is an entirely different. Women are different and this bond deserves to be cherished. It is a promise.


My one piece of advice to men out there is.. if you never want your wife to cheat on you.. ALWAYS continue to court her like when you were dating. To make a woman feel sexy by courting her..taking her on dates..and lighting a candle here or there..this is probably the best way to satisfy and deter her from cheating…because that is what keeps her interested and feeling special!


Men… remember your promise…and women.. it helps if you can understand the “dirty” side of your man and give him that once in a while. Men need change.

Okay. Here's my issue with what you just wrote. You stated that in 95% of species males are NOT monogomous. That means that 5% are. Those 5% should not, in my opinion, use the 95% as an excuse to stray outside the norm of their species. I don't think that... I don't know.. Penguins look at gorillas and say 'hey' ... He gets to do it, why don't I? If you cheat, don't justify it by using biology. It doesn't wash for me. That 5% are monogomous. If one penguin choses to ignore that, its not because of something external, like a gorilla, its because of something within himself. That's all I'm saying.


As you said, love is outside of human instinct (arguable, but not the point) the point is that WE do love. A betrayal of that love being overrulled by biology doesn't wash. We love and we think and we are concious of our own existance... that sets us, humans, apart from animals. That being the case... why justify a BETRAYAL of that love with a bogus ' biology made me do it' arguement? You made you do it. Or, something like... a chemical imbalance (really biology problems)... substance abuse... MADE you do it. Either way...it wasn't that poor gorilla.

Ok Ladies, you can flog me all day long here.. but I am the only male voice speaking how a man actually thinks..it is not wrong or bad, just manly and I do not apologize for it.. Men and women's thought processes differ. Do you really think your husbands would tell you something like this and face the consequences...lol.

Look.. it happens every day. Regardless of how you see it..it is prevelant. I am using logic to pick apart why people cheat. Please give me a viable argument, otherwise if you disagree. More than 50% of people are divorced today and for the first time in history 51% of women are living alone. This is an interesting article. http://www.nytimes.com/glogin?URI=http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html&OQ=_rQ3D1&OP=54bbd952Q2FQ2B1Q22Q3CQ2B)y_q5yy(pQ2Bp22.Q2B2Q25Q2BQ25BQ2BNqQ2BQ25B_Q22TqNqGu(Q7Br

Do you believe we are truly monogamists or did it develop for social reasons?


Men and women are hardwired to be men and women at an animal level regardless of the ability to use our mind to think our way out of nature.

So give me an argument why people cheat then.

My opinion on the most basic level is… men cheat for sex, women cheat for love.

It isn't about flogging you, it's about knowing that generalizations are quite mucky half-truths at best. You are more then capable of "speaking how a man actually thinks" but you can only speak for "a" man, not all men as if we fall down that slippery slope we may as well scrap the idea that human beings are complex creatures with that amazing gift that seperates us from the animals.

If my husband told me that he instictually desires having sex with other women, but never lived out his instictual desire there would honestly be no consequences to pay. I am not a sentimental fool who thinks that once a marriage takes place attraction to all others shuts off. I do believe that people make the choice to cheat for a myriad of reasons including sex, love, affirmation of self-worth, and needing to prove that one still has "it." But men do not hold the patent on cheating to fulfill sexual desire.

 

[poptart]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:36:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
alright...so who believes that once a cheater, always a cheater?

Me. Totally.

*M*

 

[Mara]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:36:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
alright...so who believes that once a cheater, always a cheater?

nope!! shades of gray!! i had an old boyfriend who cheated on me, he had another GF who was out of town for a few months when he met me!! he told me...we broke up, i was really upset as i had really thought he was a great guy and i was pissed at how he treated us both...he ended up breaking up with her a few months later (supposedly because he wanted to be with me) even though she never knew i guess. at first i was like no way buddy...but over time, we started slowly going out again...but i told him he had to work to earn my trust back. he worked his butt off doing it...aka he'd call me wherever he was and check in...tell me if he was going out with the guys, etc etc for months. sometimes i felt bad for him because he really was trying. finally i realized that he had been so flippin miserable during his 'cheating' time that he would never put himself back in that position and he was upset with how he had treated both of us who he cared for. we were together for almost 3 years after that, and it was a wonderful relationship. we broke it off because we knew we wouldn't get married and both of us wanted that someday..we stayed friends etc. anyway...that is part of where my shades of gray comes from. if i had not thought about giving him a second chance then i never would have had that great relationship with him after the fact. i guess i could think 'well did he ever cheat on me again' but i just flat out know he didn't. he was a good guy and he made a really stupid mistake. and he knew it and paid for it mentally and he wouldn't go back there. hopefully whoever he ended up with managed to benefit from that whole situation...i think it made him a better person.

just my thoughts!! some people i think can be more predispositioned towards cheating, but i do think it really has to do with respect...of yourself and who you are with at the time. sometimes the person you were when you were younger or stupider is not who you are later in life after more experiences etc.

 

[mtrb]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:20:55 PM
Author: divergrrl
MTRB: Women cheat for sex too, don''t kid yourself. Ever heard of a little thing called the sexual revolution?


I think people cheat because they do not respect their partner, and because they are insecure and need to validate themselves and their ''worth'' through sexual conquests. ''If I can bag this babe, then I''m a real studly guy''. or ''If I can seduce this man, then I''m a desirable and sexy woman''.


It''s fueled by insecurity, selfishness, and a general disregard for the sanctity of committment. The old ''its how we are wired babe'' doesn''t fly with me, because its a justification for bad behavior.


If someone wants to mess around, then they should be single and be honest about it. Male or female, if you are in a committed relationship, then you should be there because you are ready to be in a monogamous relationship, challenges and all.


Jeannine

My point was not to justify bad behavior. It never has been, however we should never apologize for our thoughts. I disagree entirely with the "validation" statement. That is certainly not why so many men are addicted to pornography/internet or go to massage parlors.. Men cheat for sex, because it gets old with the same person and I am simply being honest and pointing toward the reason and not trying to justify it.

Perhaps I am naive when it comes to why women cheat..but this just comes from my experience with female friends...so I will concede that point.
I will never know exactly how a female mind processes, all I can say is we do think differently and I try to understand as we all should with each other. To me for things "not to fly" just means unwillingness to try to understand anothers point of view and agree to disagree.
My wife and I have talked about this many many times. She certainly has different views than I do, but what we do have in common is our agreement to always communicate to each other regardless of our differences.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:36:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
alright...so who believes that once a cheater, always a cheater?

Nope. I believe people some can make one time mistakes and that there are some people who just can''t control themselves. I''ve known both types.

 

[bee*]

I have to agree with Kristydarling and Ebree and a couple of others-I would finish it. I know for a fact that I could never get over it. If he disrespected our 7 and a half year relationship by cheating with another woman, I just couldnt carry on. I would be absolutely devastated. I could see myself wanting to stay with him, but for my own well being I couldnt. I wouldnt trust him again.

In terms of why men and women cheat. I think saying that men want to sow their seed and all those excuses are pure rubbish. If a man cant have enough self control to keep it in their pants, its a conscious decision that they make. Its rediculous to blame their genetic make up. Women also cheat because they want sex. Having my man treat me well will obviously make me feel more loved which will make me feel more sexy, but I am also a woman in my twenties, who is sexually aware and I dont need my man to coo over me to make me feel sexy. Women are a lot more sexually liberated nowadays. I think the way that mrtb is portraying women is totally untrue.

Ally I also think you made a good point. Ive often thought of that. So many people say that they never suspected that their partners would cheat. I say the same of my partner and thats one thing that scares me a lot. If we all say that our partners would never cheat, then who are the men that are cheating. Its horrible that someone can cheat in their relationship, while the other person is unsuspecting

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:36:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
alright...so who believes that once a cheater, always a cheater?

Well, my only experience is that one of my girlfriends dated a guy who was cheating on his girlfriend with my friend (unbeknownst to her). Whaddayaknow...he cheated on my friend 2 years into their relationship too. So....I am wary that people who cheat tend to do it more than once.

As far as what I would do if I found out my husband cheated/was cheating on me...I would probably leave the relationship. Probably. That is the ultimate betrayal of trust and once trust is gone, it is VERY hard to get back. I don''t care if people are human, it was just one time, there were extenuating circumstances...cheating is cheating and I don''t want to hear any excuses for it. If I can control myself not to cheat on my husband, I expect him to do the same. Period.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:47:47 PM
Author: mtrb



My point was not to justify bad behavior. It never has been, however we should never apologize for our thoughts. I disagree entirely with the ''validation'' statement. That is certainly not why so many men are addicted to pornography/internet or go to massage parlors.. Men cheat for sex, because it gets old with the same person and I am simply being honest and pointing toward the reason and not trying to justify it.

Perhaps I am naive when it comes to why women cheat..but this just comes from my experience with female friends...so I will concede that point.
I will never know exactly how a female mind processes, all I can say is we do think differently and I try to understand as we all should with each other. To me for things ''not to fly'' just means unwillingness to try to understand anothers point of view and agree to disagree.
My wife and I have talked about this many many times. She certainly has different views than I do, but what we do have in common is our agreement to always communicate to each other regardless of our differences.

I think someone said it here once, that people are always looking for something "new" and exciting. Hence men are not cheating for SEX per se, but because they need something new and exciting. Women, likewise who cheat are looking for same sense of excitement. Many people love the thrill of new clothes, new car, new place to visit, etc...

So some people seek that new excitement through sex. Other (smarter) people go get a new hobby.

 

[IrishAngel7982]

I won''t say ''once a cheater, always a cheater'' because I do believe certain people may cheat once and (hopefully) realize what a huge mistake it was.

That being said, I firmly believe that if someone cheats once, he/she will be more likely to cheat again...especially if he got away with it.

 

[mtrb]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:54:09 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/16/2007 7:47:47 PM

Author: mtrb




My point was not to justify bad behavior. It never has been, however we should never apologize for our thoughts. I disagree entirely with the 'validation' statement. That is certainly not why so many men are addicted to pornography/internet or go to massage parlors.. Men cheat for sex, because it gets old with the same person and I am simply being honest and pointing toward the reason and not trying to justify it.


Perhaps I am naive when it comes to why women cheat..but this just comes from my experience with female friends...so I will concede that point.

I will never know exactly how a female mind processes, all I can say is we do think differently and I try to understand as we all should with each other. To me for things 'not to fly' just means unwillingness to try to understand anothers point of view and agree to disagree.

My wife and I have talked about this many many times. She certainly has different views than I do, but what we do have in common is our agreement to always communicate to each other regardless of our differences.

I think someone said it here once, that people are always looking for something 'new' and exciting. Hence men are not cheating for SEX per se, but because they need something new and exciting. Women, likewise who cheat are looking for same sense of excitement. Many people love the thrill of new clothes, new car, new place to visit, etc...


So some people seek that new excitement through sex. Other (smarter) people go get a new hobby.

I can accept that. You make a lot of sense... I think that is why we see a lot of other couples in those special shops we visit occasionally too..

 

[KimberlyH]

I just asked my husband what he believes to be the #1 reason men cheat (he agrees with me that there are more than one). His response:

"It''s the one thing that Dr. Laura and Howard Stern have both gotten right, as different as they are. Men need their strokes, if they aren''t being loved and appreciated by their SO they''ll seek it out elsewhere through sex."

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:36:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
alright...so who believes that once a cheater, always a cheater?

I don''t. I think people can learn from their mistakes. Dont'' get me wrong... I also think that it takes a rare person to have the strength to look into the mirror, see themselves for who they really are, admit their mistakes and truly repent them, then MEAN it when they commit to changing. But I think it can be done.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/16/2007 7:36:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
alright...so who believes that once a cheater, always a cheater?

I believe that TWICE a cheater, always a cheater.

I know people who cheated once at a young age and felt awful. Said "it wasn''t worth it." Somehow "grew" out of it, if that makes any sense and now seeks thrills elsewhere (hobbies, sports, etc).

But I think if that first time doesn''t impact you, and you manage to do it twice...well, your chances of being a cheater for life have just increased 100fold.

 

[allycat0303]

bee*: Well I think there''s two type of people a) those that ignore the blatant signs and stick their heads in the sand
b) those that trust and are totally surprised

I don''t think that the people being cheated on are comprised solely of group A, so there has to be many people in the relationship that are trust and their trust is being misplaced. I hope I''m not one of them, but you never REALLY know do you? Because if you trust then you aren''t looking.

As for once a cheater always a cheater. I think yes. I wouldn''t date I guy that admitted he had cheated. It shows lack of respect right away for the person he was with.

 

[poptart]

Date: 1/16/2007 8:14:14 PM
Author: allycat0303
bee*: Well I think there''s two type of people a) those that ignore the blatant signs and stick their heads in the sand
b) those that trust and are totally surprised

I don''t think that the people being cheated on are comprised solely of group A, so there has to be many people in the relationship that are trust and their trust is being misplaced. I hope I''m not one of them, but you never REALLY know do you? Because if you trust then you aren''t looking.

As for once a cheater always a cheater. I think yes. I wouldn''t date I guy that admitted he had cheated. It shows lack of respect right away for the person he was with.

I think you hit the nail on the head there Ally. That''s why I think it''s important to trust but not be stupid. If two and two don''t add up then something is wrong. But you are right, you never really DO know. You just have to hope that your trust is well placed.

*M*

 

[Moosejaw]

In my opinion, based on all the men I have known in my life...family...friends...teammates...I would say 90% of men cheat. So for all the women convinced that their man doesn''t or wouldn''t...you should probably get ready to pack up or kick him out.

I wish I was kidding. Some of the seemingly nicest guys I know have been found out to be scumbags.

I can''t speak for percentages on women cheating, because I think guys are far more oblivious to this happening...maybe even myself.

I think there can be truly legitimate reasons for going out on a spouse...and the key to preventing this is communication, and staying honest. Easier said than done, but it''s what my wife and I work on.

Often times when people have emotionally left a spouse, it is a far worse form of cheating that the sex...

I just added one of my 2 cents...so I will add the other cent later.

-G

 

[dani13]

Date: 1/16/2007 9:06:54 PM
Author: Moosejaw
In my opinion, based on all the men I have known in my life...family...friends...teammates...I would say 90% of men cheat. So for all the women convinced that their man doesn''t or wouldn''t...you should probably get ready to pack up or kick him out.

I wish I was kidding. Some of the seemingly nicest guys I know have been found out to be scumbags.

I can''t speak for percentages on women cheating, because I think guys are far more oblivious to this happening...maybe even myself.

I think there can be truly legitimate reasons for going out on a spouse...and the key to preventing this is communication, and staying honest. Easier said than done, but it''s what my wife and I work on.

Often times when people have emotionally left a spouse, it is a far worse form of cheating that the sex...

I just added one of my 2 cents...so I will add the other cent later.

-G

Ohhh...Moosejaw, when I saw that you responded, I knew there would be trouble....

You are so getting flamed!

 

[dani13]

And honestly, I believe that both men and women cheat EQUALLY, men are just not as smart about it!!!!

Question for you, MooseJaw: if 90% of men cheat, then odds are you fall into the majority, no??? Or, tell me, you are one of those 10% of perfectly perfect men and all the rest of us ladies here have the leftovers! Gimme a break!!

 

[poptart]

Date: 1/16/2007 9:35:34 PM
Author: Dani
And honestly, I believe that both men and women cheat EQUALLY, men are just not as smart about it!!!!

That''s exactly what I thought.

*M*

 

[Moosejaw]

Yah...I know I am in the vast minority in regards to being male on this board. Also most men don't like it when I say it, since I sorta let the cat out of the bag.

I am a realist, and do my best not to live in a fantasy world.

Whenever I hear about a man or woman saying how they DONT or never do something...the ones who say it the most are the ones most likely doing that the most.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." could never be more true.

Flame away if people feel the need, but it most likely won't change my mind, or what I have seen over the years from the majority of men I know.

We are entitled to our opinions, and keep in mind I didn't bring up the subject.

Also do I have a reputation??? For the very little I post it would be amazing to see my name and relate it to something sinister.


.
-G

 

[poptart]

Well, I guess it also depends on who you associate with. None of my male friends have ever cheated on their girlfriends (in fact one of them was cheated on by his fiance, and another was fighting constantly with his GF and never went elswhere) and if I found out one of them did, it would make me wonder exactly how good their moral fiber is. I try to associate with people that would respect another person enough NOT to do that.

*M*

 

[dani13]

Date: 1/16/2007 9:39:09 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Yah...I know I am in the vast minority in regards to being male on this board. Also most men don''t like it when I say it, since I sorta let the cat out of the bag.

I am a realist, and do my best not to live in a fantasy world.

Whenever I hear about a man or woman saying how they DONT or never do something...the ones who say it the most are the ones most likely doing that the most.

''The lady doth protest too much, methinks.'' could never be more true.

Flame away if people feel the need, but it most likely won''t change my mind, or what I have seen over the years from the majority of men I know.

We are entitled to our opinions, and keep in mind I didn''t bring up the subject.

Also do I have a reputation??? For the very little I post it would be amazing to see my name and relate it to something sinister.


.
-G

Moosejaw, not starting with you here, just simply responding to your comments...I can understand what you are saying, but if you truly mean what you say, then you need to know that it would be more likely that most men (including yourself -you are of the male gender, aren''t you?) would make up the 90% that cheat...ya know?

No, I dont think you have a rep, I just remember some of your responses from the other thread (re: ring budget''s) that were somewhat controversial....You are definitely not afraid to express your opinion. Dont worry- makes things more interesting....

 

[larussel03]

I've personally been on the other side of this. Not in my currently relationship, but i have been the cheater in a previous long term relationship with a guy who was somewhat emotionally abusive and controlling. Some of it maybe was due to immaturity, or rebelling against him, I was in college and wanted to sort of explore and hook up with other guys, (just to see what's out there, my number is not high at all) but I think it was becasue I truely wanted out of my relationship and the guy was so clingy that it was hard to break up with him (he'd cry, throw tantrums, all sorts of things, crazier than that as well). I cheated because I did not want to be in that relationship but I was too scared to break up with him, and I felt really restricted and deprived...almost like caged or something.

I've been in my current relationship since I was 20 (so 5 years) and have not cheated, but I dont' feel held back, deprived or like I'm missing anything, which is how I felt in the previous one(s). Some say "once a cheater, alwasy a cheater" but I don't beleive that. It all depends on the situation.

Now, as for the idea that most men cheat....I think I know more girls than guys who have cheated, so I'm not so positive about that....all I can say is, from experience, when it's right you won't cheat.

Hypothetically, though, for fun, I guess--if he cheated on me, and it was a mistake (drunken night maybe, I dunno) I would take him back and forgive him once...but that's just because it's so against his personality to do something like that. And I'm not being a wishy washy fiance, to be honest, forgiving is not in my nature, I've written people (friends, one best friend AND boyfriends) off immediately if I felt betrayed in ANY way, but he's different.

If he were more flirty or something maybe not, but he's not at all, so if he cheated on me, there'd have to REALLY be something wrong that we'd have to work on.

 

[Moosejaw]

Yah, I guess I keep things interesting...

Just so people know about me...I am male, 30, and a nice guy.

I do realize that the 90% does/could include me....which sucks. However, thats why I waited to get married until I had dated enough, and was mature enough to make somewhat decent decisions. Am I perfect, nope. However, I make much different decisions now than I did previously.

I can''t/won''t deny what I have seen with my own eyes though. Obviously it is a small sampling in comparison to ever man in the world...but it doesn''t mean that 90% of the guys didn''t fit into the cheating category. I wish I didn;t have to leave women off the hook, but I still can''t figure them out.

-G

 

[Moosejaw]

Also...

I never answered the question, and sorry for highjacking the thread.

If my SO were to be caught cheating I would have to assess her thinking, my position in the relationship...and make a decision from there. What if the SO doesn''t want you back?

I would possibly forgive.