Anxious to get the engagement ring

[MelissaSue]

Yes, reena is right.. that is what I meant. I did not at all mean to suggest anything about your own e-ring.. I'm sure it is gorgeous. And I'm glad that you are happy with your relationship.. and I am happy with mine too. Lets leave it there.. okay? Because that is all that really matters.

JennaJ- It was nice of you to check back! You were one of the last ones to get crossed off the list! Its only been growing lately.. not shrinking.

So last night.. I was at the Mall, and at the tuxedo shop there they always have a wedding gown in the window display, usually advertising from a local wedding shop.. Its usually a poofy frilly one.. but the one that was there last night was REALLY similar to the Melissa Sweet gown that I want.. One of the girls I work with had told me that she had tried one on similar to it at the shop that was being advertised, but it was different actually SEEING it myself.. I'm really excited about it. Its not exactly like it.. the top part is different, its got more of like a separate bodice and skirt and it has beading on the lace, which I'm not THRILLED about.. but.. I DEFINITELY want to try it on.. My boyfriend is so cute.. As you all may know.. he has been encouraging me to get the $3000 gown if that is what I really want.. and "we will find a way to pay for it" So when we saw that gown at the Mall the last night.. Well first he said.. "No, you can't buy a wedding dress tonight.." lol.. because I had just finished spending $80 on sweaters at Aeropostale and was on a bit of a spending spree.. But then later on I was talking about it and I said that I wanted to go try it on.. and he said.. "Okay.. we'll go there.. and you can try it on.." He really didn't know that he's not allowed to go wedding gown shopping with me!!! Hehe.. I thought it was weird when he went into David's with me just to get the catalog.. but apparently he thought he was gonna get to go shopping with me there too.
I get to go to work at the mall today, so I can stare at the dress on my lunch break..

It might make my 12 hour day go by quicker.. BLAH..

Melissa

 

[ANMdiamonds]

Beautiful ring!

Post pics when you get it.

 

[rfath]

MelissaSue - I can SO see my boyfriend wanting to help with the wedding dress selection. We haven't ever done anything traditionally so far....

But I'll probably try to convince my mother to make my dress for me. She used to be a phenomenal seamstress, but has been too busy lately (and loaned her sewing machine to someone who ran off with it).

 

[reena]

MS, does it look like that lace melissa sweet dress that you posted a while back? i LOVE that dress--it's one of the prettiest wedding dresses i've ever seen. i hope it works out! keep us posted.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 10/4/2004 9:38:59 PM MelissaSue wrote:

You know, momoftwo is certainly not a rarity on pricescope.. There are lots of people in those 'I don't like my e-ring' threads that feel that they can make judgements about someones relationship based on their reactions to a RING. AND, they find it appropriate to offer these opinions, rather than dealing with the problem posed by the poster. I just think its silly really. Someone doesn't like their engagement ring, and these people automatically assume that it means that their relationship is disfunctional. Maybe.. it means.. THAT THEY DON'T LIKE THEIR ENGAGEMENT RING. How weird would THAT be?

----------------

Ya know, as someone who has lived on this earth for 45 years & have been married for about 1/2 that time, while sometimes a cigar is just a cigar - often than not it isn't.

An engagement ring is not just a sparkly on one's finger. It *is* symbolic.

To add to the original thread, I can just speak from my personal experience. I waited for that e-ring. It was purchased. It never happened. I thank God to this day that it didn't. When I was comfortable in my own skin, my best friend happened along. This time it did happen. Years later, I look back. He (my supposed fiance) was what I was comfortable with. It was the natural progression of life after college. We did love each other. But, we really weren't right for one another. Simple as that. I wanted the fairy tale - not the reality.

I really haven't read this thread too closely; so, I am not addressing anyone in particular. I have noticed that PS of late is all about what someone wants to hear. Anyone, including myself, who puts a realistic spin on things instead of being a cheerleader, is criticized. I find that jumping to positive conclusions about one's relationship/situation/ring, etc. is just as dangerous as jumping to negative conclusions.

I can relate to your stress. I even went back to jewelery store thinking he may have returned the ring because it had been soooo long! But, what momof2 & I realize years later is how ridiculous all that fretting was. BUT - your reality is your reality. Nothing wrong with venting. Truly, this is the "freeist" time of your life. Enjoy it. While I understand wanting to start your life sooner rather than later, you *do* have your whole life ahead of you.

Some of you may ponder. Some of you may flame away. But, to anyone who will listen, with experience comes wisdom. Be open to it. I wish I had; but, then perhaps I wouldn't have learned on my own.

 

[JCJD]

fire&ice - You put your "criticism" in a positive, friendly manner, and I absolutely appreciate hearing your point of view. I have no problems with criticism per se (I am in graduate school, after all!), just problems with people who seem to use their personal opinions to attack people - and NOBODY is gonna diss my girls on here and get away with it!!!

Your post is respectful, informative, and above all, helpful, which is what constructive criticism is supposed to be. Thank you for sharing your point of view.

You wrote: "While I understand wanting to start your life sooner rather than later, you *do* have your whole life ahead of you."
- I think that what my generation learned the most out of the 9/11 tragedy is that life truly is short! I know that has certainly influenced how soon I want to get married to the love of my life, because either one of us could be run over by a Mac truck tomorrow, and we won't have 20 years together as husband and wife. Don't really know that I have a point here.... just wanted to offer my perspective too, I guess.

 

[JCJD]

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On 10/4/2004 11:12:26 PM MrsFrk wrote:

I have tiny, pathetic little toes, and what my husband refers to as 'hillbilly feet' (my apologies to any hillbillies I may offend), and my sister calls 'Hobbit feet'. Plus I run, so the toenails are in various states of disrepair, if they are present at all. Not pretty.----------------

If your feet are in the same proportion to your body as a hobbit's, and anywhere near as hairy, I pity your poor husband!!! Unless of course he has a big hairy foot fetish!!! EEEEEK!!! Don't answer that one!! Eeewwwwwww!!!

LOL!!!!!

Hmmm so you're a runner, huh? Any advice on what to do about a tight IT (illiotibial) band?

I've tried stretching it in various ways, trying to contort my legs into unnatural positions just to try and stretch that stupid tendon, and even gone to a trainer, and I just had to give up running to get it to stop hurting!!

 

[JCJD]

Melissa & rfath - Boys are so funny sometimes!! My b/f already knows he's not going to be seeing me in the dress until I'm walking down the aisle, so I don't think I'll have to deal with that problem! LOL!! It's SOOOOOOOO sweet that your b/f wanted you to go try on that dress with him yesterday!!! Reminds me of the dress-shop scene in Runaway Bride with the upside-down newspaper!! Too cute!!!!!!

OK, I'm really going to get to work now! You bad girls, keeping me distracted... tsk tsk!!!

JCJD

 

[fire&ice]

----------------
On 10/5/2004 12:54:21 PM JCJD wrote:


You wrote: 'While I understand wanting to start your life sooner rather than later, you *do* have your whole life ahead of you.'
- I think that what my generation learned the most out of the 9/11 tragedy is that life truly is short! I know that has certainly influenced how soon I want to get married to the love of my life, because either one of us could be run over by a Mac truck tomorrow, and we won't have 20 years together as husband and wife. Don't really know that I have a point here.... just wanted to offer my perspective too, I guess.

----------------

Yes, but - one must make sure that it is an *action* & not a *reaction*. Not a judgement persay - just something one must consider.

But, what do I know? We were engaged in our very early 20's after dating only 5 months!

Again, not directing this to anyone in particular, if it doesn't happen I can assure you it will be a growth experience. At the very least, you know what you *don't* want in a mate/relationship.

 

[ChooChoo]

Hey all,

Just wanted to mention that I'm still here, and I'm in need of advice. I'm starting to lose patience with waiting for the ring! A few weeks ago, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to continue to be involved in the process. I stupidly said no, because I did want some surprise to it... As you may remember, we bought the diamond and ordered the Tacori in August. The setting should be done as of last month, and I know he has the diamond.

And now that we're in October, and still nothing, I am starting to go crazy! To make matters worse, a coworker got engaged today, leaving me as the only person in our group who isn't, and I am getting those pitying looks we all know and love...

I am so tempted to tell him that I changed my mind, and I do want to be involved and most importantly, I want my ring already! At the same time, I know if I do that I will regret it because I won't get my romantic proposal... but what the HECK is taking so long?

 

[goldengirl]

Momoftwo--who says it's stressful?

I've given him ideas and parameters, told him that IF he were to get a diamond, "this" is what I would like. I've also told him that if a diamond is too much of a stretch right now (we're both poor working students), I'd rather he buy something else than go into debt for it. I've suggested colored stones (which he vetoed) and sims (which he may consider). I even ordered an interlap from wink to see how good it really is.

And barring all that, I told him he could order me a 2mm $29 gold band and propose with THAT and I would be happy. Not that he believes me, of course, but that's HIS problem.

But I am not sitting here, wringing my hands, wondering if/when he's ever going to propose. I am excited to take that next step with him, and yes, when we talk erings, I get a little fluttery feeling in my stomach...much like the way I feel on Christmas morning. Excited, yes. Stressful, definitely not. And to be honest, if it got to the point where I was upset and frustrated with the speed at which things were going, I'd pull a shanes_vee and propose to him myself!

And I do think it it terribly rude and presumptous of you to judge another's relationship with no first-hand experience of it. They come here saying they have a good relationship and in fact, are having such a good time they are now talking marraige. Fabulous. We respond to the poster with this short bio in mind. We do not analyze whatever small slices they choose to share, especially when the thread is here for commiseration. Someone was expecting a proposal on this date, for whatever reason, and it didn't happen. Naturally, she's a little disappointed. But you don't know the rest of the story, all you know is that this one small moment in time caused her a little disappointment. Unless you're around them frequently, please do not advise them on what's best in THEIR relationship. I have enough respect for another human being to assume, unless proven otherwise, that they know themselves and their partner better than I ever will.

 

[MrsFrk]

----------------
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If your feet are in the same proportion to your body as a hobbit's, and anywhere near as hairy, I pity your poor husband!!! Unless of course he has a big hairy foot fetish!!! EEEEEK!!! Don't answer that one!! Eeewwwwwww!!!

LOL!!!!!

Hmmm so you're a runner, huh? Any advice on what to do about a tight IT (illiotibial) band?

I've tried stretching it in various ways, trying to contort my legs into unnatural positions just to try and stretch that stupid tendon, and even gone to a trainer, and I just had to give up running to get it to stop hurting!!----------------[/quote]



Hee-hee. Fortunately, my feet are not Hobbit-like in proportion to my body, just Hobbit-like in shape.

I've never had IT band issues, but a friend of mine has, and he swears by ART. It's a type of physical therapy that breaks up scar tissue. I had some compartment syndrome that was so painful it almost ended my running career, and ART was like a miracle. It hurts like heck, but it works.

 

[KSparkles]

Hi everyone - I love this thread and read it all the time - I wish I'd found it a couple months ago because this is how I felt waiting for the proposal. I feel for you all - I think the hardest thing is that you have absolutely NO control over when/where/how it's gonna happen (which is exciting but annoying at the same time). Hang in there girls - you're doing great!!

In response to the tight IT Band question. I'm an occupational therapist, and took a course recently on a type of therapy called strain/counterstrain. There's a specific position that the therapist (probably a PT) would hold your leg in for about 90 seconds, which usually releases the spasm or tightness (whichever it may be). It's something you can't really do alone until someone physically shows you how, because the positions are so specific and need to be acheived by someone passively moving your leg. It's worth a shot if you have a PT/OT friend who knows this technique (it's pretty common from what I hear)...best of luck!

 

[Momoftwo]

Goldengirl, you asked who said it's stressful. Who on this site has said they love waiting? You can see it all through this thread that it consumes a great deal of some people's time and energy especially whenever they spend anytime alone with their b/f's. There's a lot of hoping it's this weekend or holiday, or whatever. That in of itself is stressful when it's something you keep expecting to happen or wonder if it is.

Like I said earlier, I do hope you all the best, but I agree with Fire & Ice, the fretting is a waste. And she also said what I basically said earlier, that PS seems to be about what people want to hear. What you want to hear is not always what's right for you. Like I always told my children and it helped keep them out of trouble; Just because you can do something doesn't always mean you should.

And where exactly did I attack Reena?

 

[MelissaSue]

Reena - YES.. it DOES look like the Melissa Sweet lace dress that I posted.. I went back and stared at it more today (two separate times on my lunch break) and its more similair than I even initially thought. It seems to be a little bit more A-line than the Melissa Sweet and it has the beading.. but the lace pattern and everything is REALLY close. It may be a Maggie Sottero, as there is a sign next to it saying that the Bridal Shop is an authorized Maggie dealer.. I haven't searched the Maggie website yet though. I REALLY like it though. I'm thinking of bringing my digital camera to the mall with me and taking a pic of it.. maybe tomorrow on my way to school. I would really like to call the shop and ask if I can come try it on.. like TODAY.. but.. I have to make myself wait until I am at least engaged.

ChooChoo - Crying worked for me.. LOL..That was how I got him to admit to me that there had been delays with my ring. I bet that is the case with yours too. Maybe thats why he asked you if you wanted to be involved. Maybe he wanted to tell you that, but didn't know if you wanted to know or not.. Does that make sense? I mean.. that may or may not be the case.. But.. my ring was supposed to be done mid-august and is still not ready.. so delays happen.. I am SO much happier (I've gotten over the initial disappointment now) now that I know that the delay is with the ring and not with my boyfriend. Because, in my heart, I knew that he would never have waited this long and let me get disappointed over and over again if it were in his control.. but as far as I knew, he had HAD my ring for over a month.. so that was what was really upsetting me. I'm still anxious now, but I'm not sad at all anymore.

Hey everyone.. The fakest holiday of them ALL is coming up.. Thats right.. I saw a sign in the mall today.. Sweetest Day is October 16th!! Sweetest Day proposal hopes anyone? Sadly, the thought really crossed my mind as a possibility.. not that my boyfriend is even AWARE that sweetest day is coming up..

Okay. I'm going website dress hunting!

Melissa

 

[rfath]

got my ring last night... I think fiance has been staring at it more than me. I'm having some troubles finding enough light to take pictures (darn dark apartment!), but I'll see what I can do in the next few days. Y'all *would* like to see pics, right?

 

[njc]

----------------
Hey everyone.. The fakest holiday of them ALL is coming up.. Thats right.. I saw a sign in the mall today.. Sweetest Day is October 16th!! Sweetest Day proposal hopes anyone? Sadly, the thought really crossed my mind as a possibility.. not that my boyfriend is even AWARE that sweetest day is coming up..

Melissa----------------

Actually, i am

BUT only because its my birthday!!!

When i was growing up i always thought it was cool when Sweetest Day fell on my birthday, it just seemed too fun and made me feel more special and like a princess or something (i was a very creative child!)! Much better than Boss's Day

I'm not giving you a present... its MY DAY not your day, now give me a bonus!!!

Yea rfath!!! Congratulations!!! Of course we want to see pictures!

 

[MelissaSue]

YAY RFATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COngratulations! I hope this made up for the rough week you had last week! And he didn't make you wait too long!

NJC- Well happy almost your birthday. Your birthday is a much more real holiday than sweetest day. My daddy's birthday is the 14th.

I gotta go get dressed though. I am taking my kitty to the vet this morning because she got bit by something outside (for the 4th time, in the past year) and she's getting worse and not better. One of the other times it happened she got an infection from it.. I think she does again

. Poor baby kitty. After the vet trip though I'm gonna do some shopping. There is a big Express sale starting today.. and I'm gonna go to Old Navy and get my baby neice a little halloween costume because I found out my sister is planning on putting her in the same costume her older kids wore on their first halloween.

Congrats again rfath. I'll make a new list soon and cross you off!

 

[rfath]

It somewhat makes up for the last week. I tease my fiance that he really shouldn't ever try to play poker, especially around me. He was looking furtive last night and refusing to make eye contact as he was rummaging. He put the ring on a ferret collar and set said ferret free for me to catch. I've got pics of a very disgruntled ferret wearing my ring... some mediocre hand shots, but the web server went down this morning, so I sadly cannot share (yet!)

But I kept smiling as I pretended that he was fooling me. He was so earnest and anxious about it!

I think I'm broken. I keep staring at it. My cute little ring!

 

[MelissaSue]

New list.. version no. 9 million and two..

• Me
• ChooChoo
• GingerBCookie
• GoldenGirl
• Reena
• JCJD
• TMLD
• kaya
• NJC
• Ivanadiamond
• Tybee
• 1215n

There it is.. readded 1215n, and took off rfath.. the lucky girl.

Well my kitty is still at the vet, they needed to anesthetize her to check for wounds and stuff. Poor little furball..

I am going shopping and am seriously considering going to take a picture of the dress in the mall.. my mom wants to see it now too..

Then to class.. blah..

Melissa

 

[njc]

----------------
He put the ring on a ferret collar and set said ferret free for me to catch. ----------------

LOL! I have this funny picture in my head of you running around trying to chase down a ferret. The ferret runs under a couch and you trying to reach in after it, too funny! That is a cute/memorable idea since you knew he had... kudos to the FIANCE!

 

[rfath]

well.. the ferret was NOT PLEASED. See, fiance'd put on the collar that had a bell on it. Said ferret likes to think that he's sneaky and sly. Bells make him make grumpy faces

 

[gingerBcookie]

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On 10/4/2004 8:27:47 PM JCJD wrote:

Hi Ginger!! - My parents met on a blind date in graduate school (chemistry nuts

). I don't really know how their parents reacted to them dating and getting married, but they did marry with both sides' approvals. However, when my maternal grandmother was ordering the tuxes, she asked my father which color suit he wanted for himself and the groomsmen. He chose a dark charcoal grey, she ordered baby blue!!!!!!

With frilly vests!!!

Classic 70's wedding photos!!! Needless to say, my dad wasn't too thrilled about that... LOL...

Medical research, I'm assuming? It sounds like you're enjoying it - congrats!! Do you want to do research or practice when you get done? Are you doing a specialty? That's so funny about you making up homework to do!! I've heard that you get weekends off in the real world, and evenings too!!! Weird.... no homework......

I really don't know what I'd do with myself, which kind of scares me - I really am a perpetual student!!!!!

Your poor nephew!!!

You know, I've heard that long toes are a sign of superior intelligence, so you can tell him that when he's old enough to keep it from his mom!!!

Hee-hee-hee!!

JCJD----------------

JCJD - baby blue frills....lol....absolute classic! Let's hope your mom doesn't pull the same thing on you!
As far ms research goes, I'm really enjoying it...but definitely more a clinical person than research. I want it to be a part of my career but not the focus. I'm probably going into a combined Hematology/Oncology specialty.

rfath - yay! why are even teasing us about photos? you know the answer to that!!! p.s. love ferrets, used to have two...a brown one named ricki-ticki and a white one named max. but my mom made me give them away....

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I've enjoyed reading this thread - some truly interesting points have been brought to light - and most everyone here is so eloquent, that it's a pleasure to read such thought out ideas and opinions.

I think I need to be added to this list. There has been no ring purchased yet, but we're moving in together this weekend.

It's taken us over 2 years to get to this point, and I'm certain it may take another 3 for him to actually propose. He's extremely concerned about getting his finances in order, which include paying off student loans. And, he wants to do it "right", which I can certainly appreciate.

I'm originally from Las Vegas, and my family still lives there. We have days where we look at each other and think that perhaps we should just fly to Vegas and do it - worry about the logistics of a wedding/engagement ring later.

I suppose I'm not so much anxious to get the e-ring as I am anxious to move to the next stage. Perhaps I should just accept that all things come in time . . . one at a time.

 

[MrsFrk]

Congratulations, Lauren the P! It's a big step.

I had the same attitude as you regarding my relationship with my then boyfriend/now husband. We were together for 7 years before we married, and when we did, we eloped. But in those 7 years, we built a life together, which for both of us was the most important thing.

We have both been on our own financially since our teens, and what money we could scrape together went toward buying a home and paying tuition. We are finally comfortable now, but back then I wouldn't have dreamed of buying jewelry period, let alone a diamond. I waited a long time for my bling, and the wait was so worth it. I can now just enjoy it, instead of feeling guilty about the expense.

 

[fancyrock]

ok, how the heck did I miss a 13-page-long post?

oh-oh... can i... can i... be added to THE list? Please ADD ME... ADD ME...




Our diamond search continues (since May of this year)... at least i know my ring setting and bands are DONE! Just need a nice radiant center stone! So... talk about being patient!!

 

[rfath]

Apologies that it's so dark.. I'm waiting until I can get some decent light to start a thread on it.

Yeah, it needs cleaned already...

 

[rfath]

a really poor top view of the ring...

 

[rfath]

the oh-so-thrilled bearer..

 

[MelissaSue]

GORGEOUS RFATH!!!!!!!!! What are the specs??? Your ferret is ADORABLE too..