Thanks neat! Your right, I guess if it has to come down to a court battle, then I doubt I''ll be responsible for much of anything of his. I''ve financially floated our marriage as far as paying all the living expenses. For the entire marriage. I have no savings account because I''ve done that, and let him invest everything into his business. So doing that, he''s gone into major debt, and I have nothing. Living paycheck to paychech to barely hang on to the house, there''s no way I could ever deal with any of his debt.
Hee hee. You make me laugh. Right now, I''m feeling pretty tough and mighty. We''ll see how I feel in the morning. I''m just steeling myself to ignore his sob story and just worry about myself. When I got home from work tonight, my mom and dad were already here changing the locks for me. And my mom even did the dishes (he left a mess in the kitchen from feeding his family/moving crew when he left) not that that''s anything new.......anyhow, and she brought a vacuum cleaner to clean my floors. (he took the one we had, and I don''t know that I''ve ever even seen him use a vacuum before). Actually, I don''t know if I posted this or not, but when he moved out, we agreed that he only wanted a dresser, desk and some of his misc. items. Well, he took the majority of everything. I still have my bed and the couches and kitchen table. But not much more. He even took one of my erings and wedding bands. Well, that''s how the cookie rolls I guess.Date: 1/14/2009 2:11:08 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Ohhhhh, this is EXACTLY what I was thinking!!! I kept thinking, ''This JERK basically dictated the details of Jo''s wedding to her, which he had all figured out before he even proposed! I can just imagine how being married to him must have been!''
And whatever you do, DON''T buy his sad little sob story about how everything is going to fall apart with his business if you don''t sign the divorce papers like yesterday. From what you said in your post, it sounds like he''s trying to tell you that the lenders involved in these transactions will only approve him for a loan if he is divorced. That just doesn''t happen. Lenders are usually much more inclined to DENY someone who is divorced, since there''s only one income and no potential for a second income unless/until the person gets married. In fact, I would be surprised if C didn''t give the lenders your income info in order to get approved for the loans in the first place! Definitely sounds like there''s something shady going on here.
Jo, I know these words will sound hollow to you right now, but I think you''ll find that this divorce is one of the best things that ever happened to you. I might be way off-base here (and if so I apologize), but I think C and my XH are very similar people. My XH was extremely controlling and abusive and it took me a long time to figure out that the problems in our relationship WEREN''T MY FAULT and that I deserved so much better. Trust me when I say that YOU DESERVE BETTER TOO!!! And I know it doesn''t feel like it right now, but ''better'' IS out there. I promise. This isn''t an ending for you . . . it''s a new beginning!
Damn, I wish I could beat him up for you!!!
Date: 1/14/2009 2:51:20 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
And we will all DEFINITELY be at your appointment with your lawyer on Friday morning! Have you seen those Verizon commercials with ''the network'' and there''s a huge crowd of people standing behind the person with the cell phone? That will be us!!!
Date: 1/14/2009 11:28:58 PM
Author: joflier
And my mom even did the dishes (he left a mess in the kitchen from feeding his family/moving crew when he left) not that that's anything new.......anyhow, and she brought a vacuum cleaner to clean my floors. (he took the one we had, and I don't know that I've ever even seen him use a vacuum before). Actually, I don't know if I posted this or not, but when he moved out, we agreed that he only wanted a dresser, desk and some of his misc. items. Well, he took the majority of everything. I still have my bed and the couches and kitchen table. But not much more. He even took one of my erings and wedding bands. Well, that's how the cookie rolls I guess.
And I agree wholeheartedly, that this is going to be a monumental turning point in my life. For the good!
It''s so sweet that your mom washed the dishes and cleaned for you.Date: 1/14/2009 11:28:58 PM
Author: joflier
Hee hee. You make me laugh. Right now, I''m feeling pretty tough and mighty. We''ll see how I feel in the morning. I''m just steeling myself to ignore his sob story and just worry about myself. When I got home from work tonight, my mom and dad were already here changing the locks for me. And my mom even did the dishes (he left a mess in the kitchen from feeding his family/moving crew when he left) not that that''s anything new.......anyhow, and she brought a vacuum cleaner to clean my floors. (he took the one we had, and I don''t know that I''ve ever even seen him use a vacuum before). Actually, I don''t know if I posted this or not, but when he moved out, we agreed that he only wanted a dresser, desk and some of his misc. items. Well, he took the majority of everything. I still have my bed and the couches and kitchen table. But not much more. He even took one of my erings and wedding bands. Well, that''s how the cookie rolls I guess.
And I agree wholeheartedly, that this is going to be a monumental turning point in my life. For the good!
Thank you Coates, for thinking of me. Your so sweet! I''m meeting a lawyer tomorrow morning at 8:30. Your welcome to come with me!
From what I know about divorce, and splitting debt...you may be responsible for debt that was accumulated during the marriage for the benefit of the marriage.Date: 1/14/2009 4:31:39 PM
Author: joflier
The unfortunate part of this, is that I''m afraid I will get something. His debts. Because its coming out that he has ALOT more debt than I ever imagined. And I''m afraid there''s not enough equity to cover it. Not sure though. He hasn''t given me a financial disclosure sheet (which his divorce papers that he wanted me to sign, said that I did)
That''s an interesting story. And I think that''s probably along the same lines. Just more legal. Because my name isn''t on his business stuff, I don''t think a court would hold me liable. But hopefully it doesn''t have to come down to battling in court over that. Or battling in court period. I hope that we can reach an agreement peacefully and quickly.
Date: 1/14/2009 11:28:58 PM
Author: joflier
Hee hee. You make me laugh. Right now, I''m feeling pretty tough and mighty. We''ll see how I feel in the morning. I''m just steeling myself to ignore his sob story and just worry about myself. When I got home from work tonight, my mom and dad were already here changing the locks for me. And my mom even did the dishes (he left a mess in the kitchen from feeding his family/moving crew when he left) not that that''s anything new.......anyhow, and she brought a vacuum cleaner to clean my floors. (he took the one we had, and I don''t know that I''ve ever even seen him use a vacuum before). Actually, I don''t know if I posted this or not, but when he moved out, we agreed that he only wanted a dresser, desk and some of his misc. items. Well, he took the majority of everything. I still have my bed and the couches and kitchen table. But not much more. He even took one of my erings and wedding bands. Well, that''s how the cookie rolls I guess.Date: 1/14/2009 2:11:08 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Ohhhhh, this is EXACTLY what I was thinking!!! I kept thinking, ''This JERK basically dictated the details of Jo''s wedding to her, which he had all figured out before he even proposed! I can just imagine how being married to him must have been!''
And whatever you do, DON''T buy his sad little sob story about how everything is going to fall apart with his business if you don''t sign the divorce papers like yesterday. From what you said in your post, it sounds like he''s trying to tell you that the lenders involved in these transactions will only approve him for a loan if he is divorced. That just doesn''t happen. Lenders are usually much more inclined to DENY someone who is divorced, since there''s only one income and no potential for a second income unless/until the person gets married. In fact, I would be surprised if C didn''t give the lenders your income info in order to get approved for the loans in the first place! Definitely sounds like there''s something shady going on here.
Jo, I know these words will sound hollow to you right now, but I think you''ll find that this divorce is one of the best things that ever happened to you. I might be way off-base here (and if so I apologize), but I think C and my XH are very similar people. My XH was extremely controlling and abusive and it took me a long time to figure out that the problems in our relationship WEREN''T MY FAULT and that I deserved so much better. Trust me when I say that YOU DESERVE BETTER TOO!!! And I know it doesn''t feel like it right now, but ''better'' IS out there. I promise. This isn''t an ending for you . . . it''s a new beginning!
Damn, I wish I could beat him up for you!!!
And I agree wholeheartedly, that this is going to be a monumental turning point in my life. For the good!
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