The LIW Small Talk Thread

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think DH loves my parents more than his own.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:09:34 PM
Author: winelover23
HDG - I hate to brag up my future IL''s because they are like um perfect but seriously I love them almost as much as my own parents.

I''m kinda with you, WL. We dont'' talk to them as much as I talk to my mom, but we do Skype on occasion and A''s parents talk to both of us. I took his rents on an apartment tour via skype while A made dinner. My mom doesn''t talk to A, but that''s cuz A doesn''t really like talking on the phone all that much. But she always says to tell him hi, and sometimes other things.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:08:12 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Lilac, that''s really odd. Do they ever call you guys?

They only call when they want something from us (babysitting his siblings, buying his mom''s new cookbook, things like that) or want to complain. Or they''ll call me when they can''t reach DH and they want to know where he is. They''ve never called to just say "hi" or say anything nice.

His mom does call every once in a while to cry hysterically about how my husband "doesn''t care about his family" and how she doesn''t understand how he turned out like this. This happened last night actually.

And my husband is similar to yours HH in that I really think he loves my parents more than his. He can''t stand the drama with his.

 

[Bia]

With my FILs it is give and take. FI is very close to them, as I am to my own parents, so we definitely went the extra mile to achieve good relationships with eachother's parents. His mother loves me, but I work for it, don't get it twisted. His father just loves me for me

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Double post

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something they would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Huh. Odd. I don't like anyone being mean to my Mo! But I agree, you should maybe reach out to her, spend some quality girly time with her, etc.

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:19:15 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something that would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

I would reach out to her, if you haven''t in the past. Make an effort and see where it takes you. It''s the beginning where a lot of MIL/DIL relationships go wrong. If you try and still can''t get closer to her (not saying you want to be very close to her), then at least you''ll both know it wasn''t because of you.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:21:38 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 3/1/2010 2:19:15 PM

Author: hisdiamondgirl

I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something that would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

I would reach out to her, if you haven''t in the past. Make an effort and see where it takes you. It''s the beginning where a lot of MIL/DIL relationships go wrong. If you try and still can''t get closer to her (not saying you want to be very close to her), then at least you''ll both know it wasn''t because of you.

Yes, this has actually worked for me. I feel much better about my relationship with my MIL since I''ve been making an effort to call and email her more regularly. My mom told me that most MILs just feel kind of left out, and so I decided to try to make her feel more included. It''s really been good.

 

[winelover23]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:21:38 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 3/1/2010 2:19:15 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something that would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

I would reach out to her, if you haven''t in the past. Make an effort and see where it takes you. It''s the beginning where a lot of MIL/DIL relationships go wrong. If you try and still can''t get closer to her (not saying you want to be very close to her), then at least you''ll both know it wasn''t because of you.

I agree w/ this. J''s Mom was a little harder to win over than J''s Dad. I think this is very typical for Mom''s of boys. I know this because I have a Brother and NO ONE is good enough for him according to my Mom but she is also always very nice to his current GF.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Thanks girlies! I will reach out and call her (although I''m far from a phone person). It''ll probably make her happy anyway!

 

[Lilac]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:21:38 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 3/1/2010 2:19:15 PM

Author: hisdiamondgirl

I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something that would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

I would reach out to her, if you haven''t in the past. Make an effort and see where it takes you. It''s the beginning where a lot of MIL/DIL relationships go wrong. If you try and still can''t get closer to her (not saying you want to be very close to her), then at least you''ll both know it wasn''t because of you.

I agree with Bia. Hopefully you''ll never have to worry about a bad relationship with your ILs, but just in case it ever does happen it''s better to know you put in the effort. The only thing that helps me get past the fact that I have such a negative relationship with mine is knowing that I did everything I could and tried my hardest to be close to them. At least I know I did what I could.

Maybe just give her a call to say hi and see how she is.

 

[vc10um]

Here''s hoping the occasional phone call/email does the trick, HDG!

And Lilac, I am SO SO SO SORRY about your ILs. I just don''t know how some people can treat other people, ESPECIALLY those who are part of the family, so poorly!

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:23:53 PM
Author: TheBigT
Yes, this has actually worked for me. I feel much better about my relationship with my MIL since I''ve been making an effort to call and email her more regularly. My mom told me that most MILs just feel kind of left out, and so I decided to try to make her feel more included. It''s really been good.

I''ve found this to be true. My mom and MIL talk a lot, and one day last year my mom told me that I should update MIL more on the wedding planning because she felt like she didn''t know what was going on. I was shocked - she and DH talk at least once a week and he knows what''s going on in the wedding, how can she not know? It had never even occured to me, but, obviously, being a guy, DH never talked about the wedding and his mom just never asked. From that point I made sure to send her emails, or grab the phone when DH was done and talk about wedding stuff a bit.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:25:00 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 3/1/2010 2:21:38 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 3/1/2010 2:19:15 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something that would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

I would reach out to her, if you haven''t in the past. Make an effort and see where it takes you. It''s the beginning where a lot of MIL/DIL relationships go wrong. If you try and still can''t get closer to her (not saying you want to be very close to her), then at least you''ll both know it wasn''t because of you.

I agree w/ this. J''s Mom was a little harder to win over than J''s Dad. I think this is very typical for Mom''s of boys. I know this because I have a Brother and NO ONE is good enough for him according to my Mom but she is also always very nice to his current GF.

Yes, same here. I think FFIL and I are a little closer. We can joke around about work stuff (he''s a lawyer too) and seem to have similar interests whereas it''s a little harder with FMIL who for example, never wants my help in the kitchen when I offer...

I will call her!

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:23:53 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 3/1/2010 2:21:38 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 3/1/2010 2:19:15 PM

Author: hisdiamondgirl

I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something that would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

I would reach out to her, if you haven''t in the past. Make an effort and see where it takes you. It''s the beginning where a lot of MIL/DIL relationships go wrong. If you try and still can''t get closer to her (not saying you want to be very close to her), then at least you''ll both know it wasn''t because of you.

Yes, this has actually worked for me. I feel much better about my relationship with my MIL since I''ve been making an effort to call and email her more regularly. My mom told me that most MILs just feel kind of left out, and so I decided to try to make her feel more included. It''s really been good.

I saw this with my own mother. My mom is kind of reserved. Those who don''t know her may think she''s unfriendly or even snotty, but she''s really just shy. Because my brother is very close to us, when he got married my mother got a taste of ''losing her baby,'' and it was hard. To be honest, it was hard for me too because he and I are very close - wife came and now I play second fiddle. Thank God my SIL is a saint because she really tries, esp where my mom is concerned.

Give it shot sweetie...she might just need a little welcome.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:27:04 PM
Author: vc10um
Here''s hoping the occasional phone call/email does the trick, HDG!

And Lilac, I am SO SO SO SORRY about your ILs. I just don''t know how some people can treat other people, ESPECIALLY those who are part of the family, so poorly!

Thanks - luckily my husband is so wonderful he *more* than makes up for his parents.

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:29:22 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl

Date: 3/1/2010 2:25:00 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 3/1/2010 2:21:38 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 3/1/2010 2:19:15 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
I guess maybe she is a little reserved. And BTW, I don''t really want to talk to them on the phone either, I guess I just expected it would be something that would do given that I am going to be their DIL. But there I go again with my expectations...

And no, she wasn''t joking, I asked FI if she was joking and he said she wasn''t

I would reach out to her, if you haven''t in the past. Make an effort and see where it takes you. It''s the beginning where a lot of MIL/DIL relationships go wrong. If you try and still can''t get closer to her (not saying you want to be very close to her), then at least you''ll both know it wasn''t because of you.

I agree w/ this. J''s Mom was a little harder to win over than J''s Dad. I think this is very typical for Mom''s of boys. I know this because I have a Brother and NO ONE is good enough for him according to my Mom but she is also always very nice to his current GF.

Yes, same here. I think FFIL and I are a little closer. We can joke around about work stuff (he''s a lawyer too) and seem to have similar interests whereas it''s a little harder with FMIL who for example, never wants my help in the kitchen when I offer...

I will call her!

I wouldn''t take offense to that LOL. Some moms are like that! GET OUT OF THEIR KITCHEN!!! (not mine, mine is not domestic in the slightest

)

 

[winelover23]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:33:06 PM
Author: Lilac

Date: 3/1/2010 2:27:04 PM
Author: vc10um
Here''s hoping the occasional phone call/email does the trick, HDG!

And Lilac, I am SO SO SO SORRY about your ILs. I just don''t know how some people can treat other people, ESPECIALLY those who are part of the family, so poorly!

Thanks - luckily my husband is so wonderful he *more* than makes up for his parents.

Awwww, I just gagged. Kidding Lilac, he better make evil IL''s worth it!

 

[Lilac]

HH - how are you feeling? I saw on the Pregnant PSers thread that you''re expecting, but I always feel weird posting there because, well, I''m not. Congrats and I hope you''re having an easy and healthy pregnancy!

 

[Lilac]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:35:08 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 3/1/2010 2:33:06 PM

Author: Lilac

Date: 3/1/2010 2:27:04 PM

Author: vc10um

Here''s hoping the occasional phone call/email does the trick, HDG!

And Lilac, I am SO SO SO SORRY about your ILs. I just don''t know how some people can treat other people, ESPECIALLY those who are part of the family, so poorly!

Thanks - luckily my husband is so wonderful he *more* than makes up for his parents.

Awwww, I just gagged. Kidding Lilac, he better make evil IL''s worth it!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:09:34 PM
Author: winelover23
HDG - I hate to brag up my future IL''s because they are like um perfect but seriously I love them almost as much as my own parents.

My ILs are way better than my own parents.

I just applied to a job that had free parking and lunch. What more do you need?!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:35:21 PM
Author: Lilac
HH - how are you feeling? I saw on the Pregnant PSers thread that you''re expecting, but I always feel weird posting there because, well, I''m not. Congrats and I hope you''re having an easy and healthy pregnancy!

Oh thank you Lilac, you''re so sweet. Other than being really moody the last few days I''m doing well. I''ve had very very little m/s, most of it came early on like 4-6 weeks, which according to some people is too early. Mainly I''ve just been really tired and moody. Friday night I fell asleep at 7 and slept through the night until 7. Then I took multiple naps on Saturday and Sunday. All I want to do is sleep! But we''re excited. I''m officially 11 weeks. I have my 12 week apt next Monday and another u/s on Wednesday-YAY.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:40:39 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 3/1/2010 2:09:34 PM

Author: winelover23

HDG - I hate to brag up my future IL''s because they are like um perfect but seriously I love them almost as much as my own parents.

My ILs are way better than my own parents.

I just applied to a job that had free parking and lunch. What more do you need?!

Um...a salary?

 

[vc10um]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:41:38 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/1/2010 2:35:21 PM
Author: Lilac
HH - how are you feeling? I saw on the Pregnant PSers thread that you''re expecting, but I always feel weird posting there because, well, I''m not. Congrats and I hope you''re having an easy and healthy pregnancy!

Oh thank you Lilac, you''re so sweet. Other than being really moody the last few days I''m doing well. I''ve had very very little m/s, most of it came early on like 4-6 weeks, which according to some people is too early. Mainly I''ve just been really tired and moody. Friday night I fell asleep at 7 and slept through the night until 7. Then I took multiple naps on Saturday and Sunday. All I want to do is sleep! But we''re excited. I''m officially 11 weeks. I have my 12 week apt next Monday and another u/s on Wednesday-YAY.

YAY WIFEY!!!

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:42:50 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/1/2010 2:40:39 PM

Author: sunnyd

Date: 3/1/2010 2:09:34 PM


Author: winelover23


HDG - I hate to brag up my future IL''s because they are like um perfect but seriously I love them almost as much as my own parents.

My ILs are way better than my own parents.

I just applied to a job that had free parking and lunch. What more do you need?!

Um...a salary?

A bunneh.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:42:50 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/1/2010 2:40:39 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 3/1/2010 2:09:34 PM

Author: winelover23

HDG - I hate to brag up my future IL''s because they are like um perfect but seriously I love them almost as much as my own parents.

My ILs are way better than my own parents.

I just applied to a job that had free parking and lunch. What more do you need?!

Um...a salary?

Overrated.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 3/1/2010 10:33:53 AM
Author: vc10um

Date: 3/1/2010 10:31:36 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 3/1/2010 10:29:39 AM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 3/1/2010 10:28:01 AM
Author: KatyWI
I don''t want to call them! I''m an ostrich... I''d rather stick my head in the sand than have someone tell me to my face (ear?) that I''m a big fat loser.


I sent them THANK YOU NOTES! Pretty, handwritten ones! And I nailed the interview! You''d think that would be enough for them to at least let me know. Urgh.


Stupid job hunting.

Can I call and pretend to be you??

Oooh... I like this idea.

T you can do this for me! I hate calling!

Excellent.

In other news...HAPPY MARCH!!! Normally, I wouldn''t be so excited...but...I THINK THIS IS THE MONTH!!!

After 6 months of waiting since he asked my momma...I think this is finally it!!!

YAY!!!
I can''t wait to see pictures! We all need to drool over your mixer... and your ring.


ETA: still catching up.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:45:02 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 3/1/2010 2:42:50 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Um...a salary?

A bunneh.

I don''t have a salary, but I do have a bunneh!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 3/1/2010 2:45:02 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 3/1/2010 2:42:50 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/1/2010 2:40:39 PM

Author: sunnyd

Date: 3/1/2010 2:09:34 PM


Author: winelover23


HDG - I hate to brag up my future IL''s because they are like um perfect but seriously I love them almost as much as my own parents.

My ILs are way better than my own parents.

I just applied to a job that had free parking and lunch. What more do you need?!

Um...a salary?

A bunneh.