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The Official TTC Thread!

Fisher My close friend had the same experience, but found out at 12 weeks that her baby had died around 6-7 weeks
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All I could do was tell her how sorry I was and let her talk about it all she wanted. Be her shoulder, that is all she will need right now. TTC is so hard for so many reasons!
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ETA sometimes it will happen naturally and sometimes it doesn't happen completely... my friend ended up needing a D&C because it didn't look like the process was going to happen naturally.
 
Charger,

I'm sorry for your friend, too. I will pray for her family to find a way to heal through this. Ah... if only there was something either of us could do to bring any comfort at all.

I had a friend at Christmas time lose her child, late in pregnancy (20 weeks). I was devastated for her. Again, nothing you can do to make it any better, though. I did send the family some home-made cookies, and while I know it didn't help, I felt like I had to do something. I will likely do that this weekend for Jen, too. I can't do nothing. I did talk to her last night; she's of course upset and hoping the Drs. are wrong, but is preparing for the miscarriage as best she can.

I think Paul is taking this almost as hard as I am. Jen is one of my closest friends who he also knows well. It's almost like we're grieving the loss of a loved baby, ourselves. Just because the baby wasn't born yet doesn't mean that others hadn't already come attached to the child, or the thought of the child, I guess. Anyway, it's just a really weird feeling. And I'm still at a loss as to how I can help her through this. We're not in the same state, and if I could just go see her and give her a hug and let her sob, I would. Argh. Broken.

I do want to thank everyone for their thoughts. Jen and Charlie are dear people and truly do appreciate all thoughts and prayers right now.

One thing she and I have talked about in depth (when we were both TTC--although she only was for one cycle) was how long we'd plan to wait to tell others about the pregnancy. Not everyone in the world knew, but more than she'd planned on did. She lives in tiny, tiny town and her husband is a pastor, so it ended up being shared pretty quickly. They actually decided to announce it so there wasn't the whole rumor thing going on. (Isn't it awful that a pregnancy has to become a rumor??) When Jen and Charlie decided to TTC in the new year, she said she wouldn't be starting prenatals until she was pregnant, because she didn't want everyone in the town to know (and all the stores are tiny and filled with locals). The closest Target/Wal-Mart/city with more than 10,000 is over 45 minutes away and they were in ice and snow and weren't going to travel that far for prenatals. I mailed her a package with them. Anyway, I'm so filled with questions now about the whole thing, but I guess some questions never get answered....

If anything, all this loss that seems to get so closely inner twined with pregnancy makes me all that much more determined to cherish every moment of pregnancy and parenthood. You kind of just have to, or worry your way through everything in this world. (Which I'm so good at.)

Okay, no more depressing posts from me. Sorry, girls.

***
DD,

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss, too. Terrible.

Thank you for the information about D&C. I really don't know much about it and it's not a topic I'm really all that interested in researching.
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I have been told though, that if you are able to miscarry naturally, you're able to begin TTC again more quickly. Do you know if that's true? I don't know when Jen and Charlie will be ready to start the process all over again, but I like to think that she'd be able to soon as soon as they were emotionally ready, rather than waiting for her body to heal from the procedure.

I know I said no more depressing thoughts, but there's one other thing that comes to mind right now: she and her husband had already chosen the name (boy and girl) for this baby. My sister in law and brother lost a baby at 16 weeks... didn't know the gender, but named him Jesse Daniel. I wonder if they'll name their baby. I think if I were in that situation, even this early on, I would want to have something to give my child, if only a name....
 
Fisher and Charger and DD, these stories are sadly so common. I feel that only in the past year or so of TTC have I discovered that most women I know seem to have had at least one miscarriage -granted, my sample size is small and they skew towards older women who had children after their educations, etc. Out of my five tightest pals, all had one before 12 wks but people just don''t talk about it. DH and I have names picked out (family names) but I worry that we would start thinking of the baby with those names and then if it didn''t make it...well it would be like loosing our Nana and Bubbie or grandfathers again in addition to the little person.

Hugs to all, happy friday!

Charger, BA is so awesome! I can''t give any insight outside of the city, but enjoy the steak, wine, and get some sexy boots made for yoursel, they are rockin'' and cheaper than uggs or Frye to have custom made.
 
Fisher, I''m so so sorry for Jen and for the sorrow that you are feeling for her. You''re such a good friend. How far away does she live? Maybe once she''s feeling a little better you guys can arrange a weekend together...
 
Fisher - I''m so sorry fo the terrible news. Though this much be such a difficult time for your friend, she''s very lucky to have you to lend support and just be there to listen when she''s ready . . .
 
Fishie- so sorry to hear of your friend''s loss. It truly is absolutely heart-breaking. Thoughts and prayer to you both. And may your lives be blessed with little ones soon!
 
I''m too far behind to know much of what''s been going on here recently.

Thought I''d give my brief update: tried IVF#1, cancelled just before we were supposed to trigger for retrieval since my estradiol wasn''t rising in line with the numbers of follicles that were developing. We''ve got a meeting with the RE in 2 weeks to see what he suggests we try next. It''s all very discouraging.
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Kate
 
DrK,

I was just thinking about you this week and wondering how your world was going....

Oh man. I''m sorry about the recent turn of events with IVF. Hoping like crazy that the appt. in 2 weeks leads to some really great (and effective!!!) plans.

Drop by as often as you can. We all miss you...
 
drk- just wanted to say hi and wish u luck....as someone who has done ivf ..all i can say is *patience*...ivf is a wonderful miracle but it takes time and lots of emotional and physical strength! lots of dust to u !!!
 
Fisher I am not totally sure, but with the D&C I believe that more of the uterine lining is lost and therefore it may take more time for it to recouperate and sustain a pregnancy. Hoever, it seems to me that in either case, if your body is not ready to be pregnant yet, then you just won''t get pregnant, so I''m not sure I see the reason for waiting longer in one case or the other... but I don''t know the details. All I know is that either way is terribly hard. If it happens naturally you may see more than you would like, and doctors often want you to actually montior your flow and collect anything that comes out so that they can try to determine what caused the m/c (this was the case for my friend). On the other hand, you don''t deal with this if you have a D&C, but the actual procedure itself is traumatic and invasive. I think the whole thing is very difficult either way
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Swimmer you are right, and we have spoken about this before on the TTC thread because joining this grou just makes it so much more obvious how common these things are because so many of the women here have gone through it! I have another friend who also had a late first trimester loss. It is so common. I think women should talk abotu it more, if they want to, because it makes it seem less scary perhaps to know how many women have losses and go one to have healthy children after--both my friends were pregant within 6 months of their losses.
 
Hello everyone, I previously joined the TTC thread and got my bfp shortly thereafter (second cycle trying.) Sadly, the pregnancy ended in m/c in Mid March (most likely due to a blighted ovum). My doctor sent me to have tests done for any clotting disorders because my mother suffered from a blood clot in her leg during a hospital stay, I''m still waiting on results from that. This is my first real cycle since the m/c and am in the last few days of the TWW. I don''t feel like this cycle will be it, but I''m hopeful that it will happen soon and hopefully be a sticky bean this time!
 
hi everyone! ... i'm engaged! i know, you are all wondering hmmm.... isn't she ttc? well yes, but being as we are so aged we weren't waiting for the marriage. BF proposed tonight. what's the acronym for fiance?

anyway, i've got a huge rock on my finger (apparently it's a temporary ring b/c my setting isn't ready yet) and here it is 12 dpo ... (sunday) so i'm going to officially jinx myself by saying hmm... wouldn't two big surprises in one week be a blast? i'll keep you posted!

ps. and when i get the real thing i'll replace this silly toucan (or whatever it is) with the ring!
 
DMBsgirl, happy to see you trying again! So sorry about your loss. I just have to point out the irony of DD just pointing out how heartbreakingly common it is to have an early loss. I hope your test results show that you don''t have a clotting disorder, and good luck!

Melanie, CONGRATULATIONS on the engagement!!!! Hopefully this really will be the best weekend ever for you! Keep us updated!

Continued good luck to all the rest of you!
 
DMB,

Welcome back. I hope your time here is short and you have a healthy full-term pregnancy to follow!
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Melanie!!!

Yay, girl!!! So tell us, is there a thread that describes the engagement? How about a thread that shows the *ring bling?*
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Congratulations, lady!!!

PS--- Fiance is shortened to FI around here.

****
Thank you again for all the warm thoughts/prayers for my friend and her husband. I know it's sadly something many women/families go through, but it still hits me hard every time. Jen and her husband took a weekend getaway to Hershey, which I'm sure will do them both good. I'm not sure that any testing will be done when she does pass the baby. She didn't say anything about having to "catch" the baby when she loses him/her. Maybe that's just not a detail I got. I don't know. One friend of mine lost a baby at 12 weeks and she had to "save him" in a tupperware container in her fridge until the next Dr. appt, so they knew that all the body parts had come out and she wouldn't be needing a D&C. How heartbreaking that would be!!!!!

I just wish there was never a need for any person to have to suffer the loss of a pregnancy. It is so sad.

DD, thank you for explaining a little more about the D&C vs. naturally miscarrying process. It makes sense that the D&C would scrape out more of the lining than just going through the process naturally. I can also imagine it would be less painful/tramatic to not have it be a "procedure," but rather something that happened on its own. Maybe. I think either way, I'd be a hot mess.

****
Tiffany,

Thinking of you especially this weekend, girl!!! Hoping for some wonderful news from you!!! Thinking positive, for sure, for sure!!
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Question for the masses:

So, I'd really wanted to test on Mother's Day. It will only be 11 DPO, though. Is that a bad idea? I actually don't know that once the time comes that I'll want to do it, particularly with it being only 11 DPO. (At the time I had this idea, I thought it would be 14 DPO, but I ovulated a few days later than I'd thought I would.) I'm trying to weigh the odds, since I could test positive that early, or I could test and get a false negative. Not sure the drama's worth it. But oh how I'd love to find out on Mother's Day!!!

Oooh... based on day of ovulation due date predictors on line (I know, not always totally reliable, and definitely not the day I'd likely have the baby), this baby would be due 1/20/2010, which is our third anniversary!!!
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Exciting!!! What an anniversary present that would be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Fisher Don''t test on mothers day, just wait. That way, no matter what, you can spend mothers day imagining what it will be like to be a mommy!
 
Hi Everyone,
I''m new to this thread, and am on my second cycle of charting. This month, I ovulated (according to fertility finder) on day 8 of my cycle, isn''t that early? Does this happen to many people? My cycle last month was 31 days and I ovulated on day 16 I think. Thanks for your help.
 
Date: 5/3/2009 11:29:32 PM
Author: diamondgirl5k
Hi Everyone,
I''m new to this thread, and am on my second cycle of charting. This month, I ovulated (according to fertility finder) on day 8 of my cycle, isn''t that early? Does this happen to many people? My cycle last month was 31 days and I ovulated on day 16 I think. Thanks for your help.
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That does seem early to me... silly question, are you counting CD1 as the first day of bleeding? Day 16 of 31 sounds more normal and gives you an LP of 15 days which would also be right. Have you just come off BCP by any chance?

Are you just temping or going by CF and position as well?
 
Date: 5/3/2009 1:00:29 AM
Author: melanie987123
hi everyone! ... i''m engaged! i know, you are all wondering hmmm.... isn''t she ttc? well yes, but being as we are so aged we weren''t waiting for the marriage. BF proposed tonight. what''s the acronym for fiance?

anyway, i''ve got a huge rock on my finger (apparently it''s a temporary ring b/c my setting isn''t ready yet) and here it is 12 dpo ... (sunday) so i''m going to officially jinx myself by saying hmm... wouldn''t two big surprises in one week be a blast? i''ll keep you posted!

ps. and when i get the real thing i''ll replace this silly toucan (or whatever it is) with the ring!
Click to expand...
Congratulations on the engagement!

Hey what''s aged about 37? Over here they don''t call you an ''elderly primate'' until 40 now - I feel like a spring chicken again (I''m 37 in August...
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)
 
DD,

Did you get a new *diamond?*

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Diamond Girl 5K,

I have no idea what it''s like to ovulate early, but I did a search on the internet (possibly not the most reliable source; can''t remember the site now) that said that anywhere between Cycle Day 8-Cycle Day 28 is considered "normal." I know that even with "normal" being considered in those later Ovulation days, though, most Drs. like to see you ovulating earlier than that.

I''d maybe follow up with your OB/GYN and ask if that''s something you need to get more information about.

Or maybe you just had a wonky cycle. That happens to us all!! (And if you recently came off the Pill, as Pandora mentioned, that could be attributing to the early ovulations, too).

Good luck to you in the TTC journey!!!
 
Melanie-Congrats on the engagement, now where are pics of the ring!!

Fisher- thanks for asking about me. I tested this morning, 15 dpo, and negative. I''m really getting tired of this.
 
Thanks ladies for your help. I''m not coming off BC, I''ve been off of it for over 2 years now, but my cycles still aren''t right, so I''ve started to chart to see if I can get a handle on it. I do start day 1 as the first day of my period... I do try to track the CF but to be honest, I really don''t notice a difference until it''s the fertilie CF. I''m trying to upload the picture of my chart but it says the file size is too large..
 
Morning Ladies!!

Fisher -- I''m so sorry to hear about your friends and their loss. Losses are always hard to experience.
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She''s lucky to have a great friend like you around. I totally understand the want to test on Mother''s Day, but if it were me, I''d wait. It would be hard for me to enjoy the day with my mom if I tested and ended up with a BFN.


Charger -- I''m sorry about your friend too.

RE: Losses -- As everyone is commenting here, m/c early on is so very common. I''m terrified of this. After so many cycles of TTC, I''m so afraid of finally getting that BFP only to have a m/c early on. I know it does me no good to worry like that but it is hard.

Drk -- I''m sorry the IVF #1 was a no go. I hope you get some answers at your next appt. Please come around and update us whenever you have time.

DMBsGirl -- I''m sorry about your loss
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I''m hoping you get some good results from your testing. Please let us know if you are comfortable when you get them. What DPO are you? Hoping this is it for you!

Melanie -- Congrats on the engagement!!!!
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Can''t wait to see if you get a second big surprise in a few days and can''t wait to see that bling!
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Diamondgirl5k --8 seems early but maybe that''s because none of us usually O that early although if your LP is within a normal range, maybe it wouldn''t matter? I second checking with your doc.

Tiffany -- Sorry about the BFN. I don''t blame you, this process can be exhausting and so trying.

Shout outs to: Festy, Lulu, Feb and Swimmer!
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Today is CD15 for me. Not sure if I''ve O''d yet. I got a +OPK on Saturday but no significant temp rise since then. It''s probably not a bad thing though since I came down with a UTI on Saturday and the last thing I wanted to do was BD after that +OPK. I sat in the (military) hospital for over 3 hrs trying to get some antibiotics only to find out that they *lost* my urine sample and had to give another one. Finally got out around midnight after 5 hrs or waiting. I was so angry!! Anyway, we did BD on Sunday and will today so hopefully we can catch that egg!
 
melanie - congratulations on your engagement. please post pictures of your ring, as we love a little distractions on this thread, particularly ones that twinkle
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I really do hope that this is your week of much good news. go IUI. go.

in luv - bah! I used to get UTIs all the time. it was *irritating* on so many levels. good work on getting that BDing in!

fisher - I''m with DD. I wouldn''t test on mother''s day. DPO 11 is early. I would wait!

tiffany -
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. I am so sorry. and I hear you. it''s crap. and I can only speak for myself, but I have days, after yet another BFN, where I just want to give up, feel so defeated, etc. but then inevitably, time passes and I feel like it will happen for me and the optimism returns. who knows, maybe I''m in denial
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, but I really hope you are feeling better soon.

drk - sorry to read your update and hope to hear more from you soon...

dmbsgirl - here''s hoping for a sticky been indeed.

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Nothing much to say about this cycle for me. I don''t know when I ovulated, thus, I don''t know where I am in this cycle. I *imagine* I''m around DPO6 or so. Just waiting. Leaving for a business trip this evening. My first one and I''m not exactly looking forward to it. Traveling with a (boss-type) co-worker just seems awkward...but I''m sure I''ll manage. Hope everyone had a great weekend.
 
Congrats on your engagement, Melanie!
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Here''s hoping for two big surprises in one week!

InLuv - I would be angry about the hospital losing my sample, too, and having to wait so long!
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Sorry about the UTI.

drk - Sorry you''re feeling discouraged... I hope you have a productive meeting with your RE when it comes up.

Welcome DMBSgirl and diamond girl!
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Thanks everyone! It''s just starting to sink in. I can''t wait to get the real thing!

Tiffany, I''m so sorry about the bfn. I here ya on being sick of it. AF came for me yesterday afternoon, so no double surprise. I''ve decided to take the summer "off" and just enjoy myself. I really didn''t like the clomid i''ve been taking for two months and I''m so not ready to pump more drugs into my system to take the next step, ivf, next month. I''m going to start running again without having to worry about it, diet, drink tan and just enjoy the summer.
 
Fisher I did get a new diamond!
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I made a thread in SMTR called "Dreamer''s icy little beauty"

Diamondgirl That seems early and if that become a habit it *could* be an issue for getting pg since such a short lead up to ovulation could mean your uterine lining isn''t quite ready and the egg isn''t its most ready. Still, there are no real rules in TTC since exceptions abound. Also, if you o''d on CD 16 last cycle which implies a 16 day LP for you, and if your cycles have regularly been longer than 24 days over the last few years, then such an early ovulation may not be your norm. I wouldn''t worry about it unless you have a few cycles like that and don''t get KTFU. If your cycles tend to be irregular then charting is probably a great tool for you! And most women don''t notice much difference in their CF during the infertile phase... all that matters is noticing when the fertile fluid pops up and charting that! So if you recognixe that fluid you are aokay!
 
Inluv: I am not sure how many dpo I am. I don''t temp and didn''t use opk''s this cycle. My babymaking strategy is just a whole lot of bd''ing. This is my first real cycle since my m/c. If I count from time m/c began to first day of lmp then that cycle was 28 days. The cycle before I got my bfp was 24 days. So I guess my cycles fluctuate between 24-28 days.
I was on the pill for a long time and got pregnant second cycle off bc so I really have no clue what my cycle length is at this point. So either my period was due today or is due thursday. I took an IC this am and thought I saw a very light line but I know better than to trust those. Will test again tomorrow with fmu. We''ll see!
 
Tiffany- I'm so sorry about the BFN
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Melanie- Congrats on the engagement!! Can't wait to see your new bling bling
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Fisher- I wouldn't test on Mother's Day. 11 DPO is still way early (coming from someone who starts testing at 9 DPO, lol) and I know you take it hard with every new cycle and BFN (don't we all though?). I would think positive thoughts on Mother's day about your future baby and maybe test the next day!
Inluv- Oh that sucks about the 5 hour wait! How does an doctors office lose a urine sample?
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I'm glad you are feeling better though!

Can anyone recommend a good ovulator predictor kit? Has anyone had any good results with the Answer kit? Thanks!
 
Melanie - congratulations! Now where oh where are some pictures of this ring? Temporary Shmemporary. We wanna see it!
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Kate - I''m so sorry about your setback. Thank you for popping in to say hi.

DMB - I''m sorry for your loss. But welcome back! Sorry - what is an IC? Is it one of those dreaded blue dye tests we''ve been hearing about? I can''t wait to check back in tomorrow!

5k - Welcome! I''m not gonna lie, CD 8 seems early, but then are you sure that was a firm O? I''m not familiar with the program you''re using, but sometimes these programs tell us we O''d only to take it back a few days later.

Tiffany - I hear you loud and clear, my friend. Big hugs to you.

InLuv - What a chafe! It''s been a while since I''ve had the pleasure, but the memory of a UTI stays with you!

LLL - it''s amazing the cycle of emotions, isn''t it? I go through that cycle around O and then when AF comes. Thank goodness we are able to regain that optimism otherwise I''m not sure I could survive this!

Feb - Hiya! I''ve only dappled in OPKs and I didn''t not try Answer. I''ve tried Clear Blue Easy (cha-ching, crazy expensive) and the test from earlypregnancy.com. Do I have that right?

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I''m in the same boat as Lovely Lulu...don''t know when I O''d. The BDing has been so much more relaxed and fun this cycle without all the stressing and guessing. Starting on CD 12 I just jumped DH every day. Our success vs. failure rate was about 50-50, but this time I didn''t feel like crying those times when he wasn''t able to "finish." When CDs 13 and 14 passed without success I was feeling a little down until the morning of CD 15 when I woke up with major EWCM. Seriously, after what, 10 cycles of trying, I finally had that "oh, so THAT''s what it freakin looks like" moment! So we were able to do it that afternoon which was great. I actually think I more likely O''d on CD 14 and that glop of EWCM hung around until the next morning, but you never know!

Have I talked enought about this yet?
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thanks and thanks again! well, i went back to have my finger sized and they took that loaner right back ... but the real thing should be ready end of the week so i''ll get some pics taken over the weekend and post them then!

don''t think i''m ready for the "ladies in waiting" forum yet .... but i don''t think this is too much of a threadjack.
 
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