Posters, I can''t believe I even have to say this.

[musey]

Thanks ladies, I feel better now

I was originally going to post saying "I SO agree with you, Ellen!" but then, how silly would that be if people in fact thought I was one of the obnoxious non-thankers!

 

[diamondfan]

Who or what are the Rouses? Do I want to play with them?

HLMR, I think you are spot on. Those who are the ones in question are least likely to see this and even connect it. Such is life...which is why I am totally comfy ignoring the threads.

 

[hlmr]

Unfortunately, that is the sad reality DF. It really is alien to me not to say thank you to someone who has taken time to share a kind word.

 

[elsie]

Yay, Ellen! As usual, you know exactly how to put things.

I must admit that I used to be more of a lurker than a poster -- I was feeling sorta intimidated when my responses to frequent posters in the PS community got completely ignored. I know I''m being silly and it doesn''t mean anything, but it sort of reminded me of high school where you had to be part of the "popular" crowd to get a response.

But I must say that there are also plenty of friendly people here on PS, and your post does highlight that people are thinking of internet etiquette. Thanks again for bringing it to everyones'' attention!

 

[Demelza]

Date: 2/23/2008 5:36:09 PM
Author: Lynn B
Honestly, I am feeling just a bit *confuzzled* by this thread!

It seems like we are talking about two different types of people...


(1) Newbies who come here looking for info and then disappear forever. And yeah, I've noticed that sometimes they may not especially say 'thanks' or come back to show us what they finally ended up with, etc. But in that case, I don’t take it personally. I figure I had fun *helping* (if my usual monologue about GREAT CUT, LOW COLOR, LOW CLARITY = GREAT VALUE!

actually ever *helps* anyone, that is!) and that's enough for me. I post on those kinds of threads when I have time, and when I feel like it... but I don't ever feel pressured about it. I mean, this should be fun, right? Afterall, PS isn't my YOB!

(2) Regular posters... and this is where I feel a bit confused. First of all, IMVHO just because a poster has been a member for a very long time does not necessarily make them a “regular”. To me, a “regular” is not someone who pops in only to show off a new bauble, and then disappears until the next bauble. That being said, I honestly don't feel like there are any (*real*) 'regulars' around here who consistently or regularly show impoliteness. Maybe an occasional blip or something, but who doesn't have those kinds of moments or days at times? And most likely, short of extremely rare, *flagrant* rudeness, I think the main issue is simply the time factor. We all only have so much time we can spend on the boards, and threads do move fast nowadays... it’s hard (in fact, impossible) to keep up with everything. I know I have probably been guilty of missing thanking people individually who post on my threads... or staying current with posts or follow-up in other posters' threads... but hopefully I have never hurt anyone's feelings by that. And if I have, please accept my sincere apology; believe me, it was never intentional.


Honestly, I think in general that PS is one of the kindest, most civilized boards I have ever seen! Yes, there are a LOT of personalities here on PS... just like IRL, and that's what keeps it interesting. Some personalities we are drawn to, and some we aren't. The beauty of an internet forum, though, is the ability to simply pass over certain threads or posters, and move on.

I agree with Lynn. Of course, everyone wants to feel appreciated and it would be wonderful if every effort was properly acknowledged. There are many people here who spend countless hours helping newbies, regulars, and everything in between. It would be terrible if you all didn't feel adequately recognized or appreciated. Having said that, I worry that directing a thread like this to EVERYONE, and specifically including veiled references to "certain" guilty posters, will result in EVERYONE feeling paranoid and guilty. I suppose you could argue that this will encourage people to behave the way you would like them to, but I would argue that it's not worth everyone here feeling shamed. I know that I found myself feeling just terrible reading thorugh this thread, convinced that I was one of the "bad" posters. Maybe I am, but I guess I would rather a few people not say thank you than so many people here feel badly about themselves for their imagined transgressions. Like Lynn said, I think most people do say thank you and the ones that don't? Well, phooey on them!

 

[diamondfan]

Dem (love your shepherd by the way...)

I plead some guilt here because perhaps I was a bit stinky to say what I said in the veiled manner I did. But in all fairness, it really impacted my ability to come on this site and partake and enjoy. Which may be totally my own issue, but it was just making me NUTS. Pages and pages and pages and I simply wanted to scream...I DID stop responding which was my main recourse, but gosh, just seeing the name and the ad naseaum posts really hit me for some reason. (like I said, might be my issue as needy people who take and never give back get to me in real life). I would NEVER directly call someone out for the most part, I tried getting through and when it fell on deaf ears I just stopped responding at all. Felt it was the only smart thing to do, rather than getting sucked in and aggravated.

No one is perfect and it is so tough to keep up with all that goes on here in a given period. And I do not think Ellen meant to get people paranoid. I certainly could have avoided the topic, but it kinda was back out of the bag for me at that point and though I tend to be a person who does not post if I have nothing constructive to add (in my view at least), I could not resist. In a way it is a waste anyway, since it is tough for people to recognize that tendency in themselves.

 

[Demelza]

Date: 2/23/2008 10:54:41 PM
Author: diamondfan
Dem (love your shepherd by the way...)


I plead some guilt here because perhaps I was a bit stinky to say what I said in the veiled manner I did. But in all fairness, it really impacted my ability to come on this site and partake and enjoy. Which may be totally my own issue, but it was just making me NUTS. Pages and pages and pages and I simply wanted to scream...I DID stop responding which was my main recourse, but gosh, just seeing the name and the ad naseaum posts really hit me for some reason. (like I said, might be my issue as needy people who take and never give back get to me in real life). I would NEVER directly call someone out for the most part, I tried getting through and when it fell on deaf ears I just stopped responding at all. Felt it was the only smart thing to do, rather than getting sucked in and aggravated.


No one is perfect and it is so tough to keep up with all that goes on here in a given period. And I do not think Ellen meant to get people paranoid. I certainly could have avoided the topic, but it kinda was back out of the bag for me at that point and though I tend to be a person who does not post if I have nothing constructive to add (in my view at least), I could not resist. In a way it is a waste anyway, since it is tough for people to recognize that tendency in themselves.

DF --

Oh gosh, I hope I haven't shamed you now. It sounds like you were really frustrated with this particular poster and that this thread brought up all those feelings again. I know you didn't intend to make anyone feel paranoid or guilty.

Thanks for the compliments on my beautiful shepherd. I will never change my avatar even though he died over a year ago.

 

[diamondfan]

Oh, no harm, and I totally agree with you about unintended side issues that can occur. It made everyone think, UH OH!

And I admit to seeing an opportunity and just going for it. I think (and I hope) I do not ever come across as snarky or nasty. If I am not being totally favorable I try to voice my views in as helpful and non hurtful a manner as I can, or I just do not post. And trust me I TRIED. Somethings just rub a person the wrong way and I found that happening. And I may or may not be the only one, which is just an interesting glimpse into e life imitating real life. I am just sorry if it made anyone nutty!

Shepherds are one of my all time favorite breeds. I was recently watching a dog show (not Westminster? Maybe Eukanuba?) and a Shep won his group. They are simply gorgeous dogs. I know when you lost him, and it was heartbreaking. We fall in love with our pets, and it is miserable to lose one. Your avatar makes me smile though, he was just a beautiful dog and I am sure he lived a wonderful life with you.

 

[Demelza]

Date: 2/23/2008 11:13:38 PM
Author: diamondfan
Oh, no harm, and I totally agree with you about unintended side issues that can occur. It made everyone think, UH OH!


And I admit to seeing an opportunity and just going for it. I think (and I hope) I do not ever come across as snarky or nasty. If I am not being totally favorable I try to voice my views in as helpful and non hurtful a manner as I can, or I just do not post. And trust me I TRIED. Somethings just rub a person the wrong way and I found that happening. And I may or may not be the only one, which is just an interesting glimpse into e life imitating real life. I am just sorry if it made anyone nutty!


Shepherds are one of my all time favorite breeds. I was recently watching a dog show (not Westminster? Maybe Eukanuba?) and a Shep won his group. They are simply gorgeous dogs. I know when you lost him, and it was heartbreaking. We fall in love with our pets, and it is miserable to lose one. Your avatar makes me smile though, he was just a beautiful dog and I am sure he lived a wonderful life with you.

Awww, thanks, DF. My avatar makes me smile too. He really did have a good life.

 

[monarch64]

I don''t know how I''ve missed this thread all day...but now that I''ve read through it I have to say "thank you" to Ellen for bringing up the whole subject. I understand why it was brought up. I''m not very active over in RT (wish I could be more helpful there but usually I find that the OP has plenty of answers and I feel like anything I have to say wouldn''t be any better advice than has already been given), but if I were I think I''d be pretty miffed if I''d given a lot of assistance to someone and they didn''t bother to thank me.

I hope I''m not guilty of the problem that''s being discussed here. Even if I''m not, I will try to be more conscientious when I post things and do not acknowledge every response...I hereby vow to be a better PS''r, hee hee.

 

[TravelingGal]

OK, all you posters who think Ellen is talking about you. She is not talking about YOU. If you are so paranoid to post "Is it me? Is it me?" Doncha think you are conscientious enough to say thank you to begin with?

*Smack! Smack!*

(that''s the sound of me hitting you upside the head.)

Ellen is talking about herself. We all know she is a very bad girl.

 

[sumbride]

Thank you to everyone who has ever helped me or complimented me, or even reprimanded me!!! It has been appreciated! except for maybe the reprimanding...


and thanks TGal, for setting us straight... it''s ELLEN we have to worry about!!!

 

[strmrdr]

It don''t bug me at all...
You know why? for every 300 or so drive buys there is someone who stays learns and grows into the expert who then helps others.
That is what keeps the cycle going and it gives me warm fuzzy feelings to see this especially if its someone that I have helped teach about diamonds.
That my help is getting passed forward is the best payment I can get :}

Every day I will open a thread prepared to answer a question and see it has already been answered as I would have answered by such a person and I smile and move on :}

 

[risingsun]

Date: 2/23/2008 9:48:43 PM
Author: diamondfan
Who or what are the Rouses? Do I want to play with them?

HLMR, I think you are spot on. Those who are the ones in question are least likely to see this and even connect it. Such is life...which is why I am totally comfy ignoring the threads.

LOL A rous is a rodent of unusual size. They came to be in the movie The Princess Bride. So did the term inconceivable, which was used frequently--and inappropriately--by one of the characters. Ellen strongly suggested watching this film for a good laugh. I did watch and I did laugh

I highly recommend it!

ETA: No, you do not want to play with them. They are a nasty lot

 

[monarch64]

*ow* Hate it when I get smacked upside the head, especially by a pregnant gal I can''t smack back.

ROFL.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:08:01 AM
Author: strmrdr
It don''t bug me at all...
You know why? for every 300 or so drive buys there is someone who stays learns and grows into the expert who then helps others.
That is what keeps the cycle going and it gives me warm fuzzy feelings to see this especially if its someone that I have helped teach about diamonds.
That my help is getting passed forward is the best payment I can get :}

Every day I will open a thread prepared to answer a question and see it has already been answered as I would have answered by such a person and I smile and move on :}

This post just sums it up for me.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:14:46 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 2/24/2008 12:08:01 AM
Author: strmrdr
It don''t bug me at all...
You know why? for every 300 or so drive buys there is someone who stays learns and grows into the expert who then helps others.
That is what keeps the cycle going and it gives me warm fuzzy feelings to see this especially if its someone that I have helped teach about diamonds.
That my help is getting passed forward is the best payment I can get :}

Every day I will open a thread prepared to answer a question and see it has already been answered as I would have answered by such a person and I smile and move on :}

This post just sums it up for me.

I actually do agree. When I was on a travel forum, there was a thread similiar to this one, and a lot of people expressed being bugged by lack of thank you''s. Especially since a lot of people really go out of their way to put together itineraries, help with travel research, and even translate inquiries into different languages.

One person just shrugged and said, it is what it is, and the best part about the forum is the generous people who are so willing to help REGARDLESS of recognition.

I agree that manners are nice, and thank yous are appreciated. Personally I was surprised to find that some people hold back help or praise (although I have a very good idea who you are talking about and can understand why), because you all just are ALWAYS so helpful, I can''t imagine any of you holding back. You all are gems! (Pick the stone of your preference!)

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:13:21 AM
Author: monarch64
*ow* Hate it when I get smacked upside the head, especially by a pregnant gal I can''t smack back.

ROFL.

Just wait 5 more weeks. Then smack at will.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:24:00 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/24/2008 12:13:21 AM
Author: monarch64
*ow* Hate it when I get smacked upside the head, especially by a pregnant gal I can't smack back.

ROFL.

Just wait 5 more weeks. Then smack at will.

Can't believe it's only 5 weeks away. I swear all the PS pregnancies have flown by, yeah I know EASY for me to say.

But it's just sooooo fun.

Yes I am itching to be a grandma.

 

[strmrdr]

The only posters that annoy me are the ones that start off...
This is my first post and Iv been reading this site for 3 months and learned a lot..
How is this asscher:
depth 99%
table 87%
5.11mm x 5.99mm

when there is 4 asscher threads on the front page with what too look for in them.
That makes me a little annoyed.

I just have too shake my head and say to myself what have they been reading for 3 months?
Then help them anyway,,,,

 

[strmrdr]

What annoys me even more is vendors who buy advertising and don''t help on the forums.
They will rarely if ever get a recommendation from me.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:24:00 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/24/2008 12:13:21 AM
Author: monarch64
*ow* Hate it when I get smacked upside the head, especially by a pregnant gal I can''t smack back.

ROFL.

Just wait 5 more weeks. Then smack at will.

Nah, I''ll just throw a pie in your face then. 5 weeks...counting down...lol! Muah! Love ya TGal! Can''t wait to see TTot!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:40:26 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 2/24/2008 12:24:00 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/24/2008 12:13:21 AM
Author: monarch64
*ow* Hate it when I get smacked upside the head, especially by a pregnant gal I can''t smack back.

ROFL.

Just wait 5 more weeks. Then smack at will.

Nah, I''ll just throw a pie in your face then. 5 weeks...counting down...lol! Muah! Love ya TGal! Can''t wait to see TTot!

Aw thanks! 4.5 weeks, if on schedule, plus or minus 2 weeks. And really, you can see by my avatar that I''m a self-smacker anyway.

Kaleigh, it has gone by fast. That''s the joy about the thread you started...we just chat and chat and plop! Out comes baby.

And you''re gonna make a great grandma...what are your prospects? (Feel free to post on the Preggo thread if you don''t wanna threadjack here.)

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:35:42 AM
Author: strmrdr
What annoys me even more is vendors who buy advertising and don''t help on the forums.
They will rarely if ever get a recommendation from me.

I always wondered about that.

Storm,
If I could take one day out of all the help you give, today would be the day. It was fun, well articulated and so educational. I think many of us learned a great deal. So thanks for all that you do. My asscher wouldn''t be on my finger if it wasn''t for your help. You''ve taught me great lessons, diamonds and beyond. You rock, PUN intended!!!

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 2/24/2008 12:44:24 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 2/24/2008 12:35:42 AM
Author: strmrdr
What annoys me even more is vendors who buy advertising and don''t help on the forums.
They will rarely if ever get a recommendation from me.

I always wondered about that.

Storm,
If I could take one day out of all the help you give, today would be the day. It was fun, well articulated and so educational. I think many of us learned a great deal. So thanks for all that you do. My asscher wouldn''t be on my finger if it wasn''t for your help. You''ve taught me great lessons, diamonds and beyond. You rock, PUN intended!!!

aww shucks
storm blushes a lil and kicks snow on the ground.

 

[Allison D.]

Date: 2/23/2008 1:46:31 PM
Author: risingsun

*Ellen~are you the official ''smack on head'' person on PS? That''s the word the on the street

Marian, I used to be the official "smack on head'' person.....and then I got neutered. Chainsaw-ectomy.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/24/2008 2:01:16 AM
Author: Allison D.

Date: 2/23/2008 1:46:31 PM
Author: risingsun

*Ellen~are you the official ''smack on head'' person on PS? That''s the word the on the street

Marian, I used to be the official ''smack on head'' person.....and then I got neutered. Chainsaw-ectomy.

I still mourn the loss.

 

[Mara]

wow what a totally random thread! and five pages long....people definitely seem to be able to relate.

however, throw me into the camp with lynn and dem scratching my head going *huh*???? when lucky star said that a post like this just makes everyone paranoid, i totally agree...it actually irks me to see so many posters coming in here worried that they are the ones being subtly alluded to. especially if they are 'veterans' as someone made a not-so-subtle reference to.

i totally agree that people in general in LIFE are just not as polite as they used to be and manners typically fall by the wayside many times. everyone could definitely be a lot more conscious of everyone else around them in the world.

however here on PS i think that everyone pretty much goes out of their way to thank people and keep the forum a positive place. sometimes so much that i turn a little

from it all because i am really not a lovey dovey type of person. nor do i really think about what anyone thinks of me or worry that someone is upset that i didn't respond to them or whatever. but overall PS is a great place to be because people ARE considerate or try to be most of the time of their other posters. there are thousands of people here and it amazes me many times that so many personalities live as harmoniously as we all do in this small space.

i have put in years of my time here and i am sure there are countless people whose posts i missed or topics i never responded to. or thanks that i never got to say. it doesn't really mean anything other than 'i zoned out and forgot or totally missed what you said in a long post to me'. it'd be nice if that didn't happen, but it's life. sometimes you only have 2 minutes to post something but 5 people said something to you. no one should freak out if they are not responded to. in my years here there have also been countless times that people have not thanked me for whatever advice or help i gave to them. i can't even count the hours i have put in on PS trying to help people nor would i want to. i don't do it for the thanks or for the recognition, i do it because i want to and that's it. i guess i never thought 'gee it'd be nice if you thanked me a little more effusively'. nor would i post something chastising people with a broad brush if i was irritated with one or two people.

sure, sometimes there are the 'takers' that we see here on PS just like in real life. or people who are just clueless as to how they might come off. i just don't associate with those people, typically don't respond to their threads. you can only vote with silence if you don't agree with a poster or what they are saying or how they act. so overall i feel like yeah the world could be a more polite place, for sure. but PS is great the way it is. and sorry, but no one should have to STRESS out over whether or not they make sure to include EVERYONE when they respond to something. we all do what we can here, and that's it...and everyone should feel great about what they do contribute and not guilty for not offering more.

 

[TravelingGal]

Thank you Mara, for taking the time to post.

 

[door knob solitaire]

well said